AngelsKiss
April 5, 2005, 11:38 AM
Jamaican lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Falmouth small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to the stand.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes me know you, Mr. Williams. Me know you since you was a pickney, and frankly, you is a big disappointment to your family.
You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk bout dem behind de backs. You tink you're a big shot when you no have the brains to realize you never be more dan a two-bit paper pusher.
Yes, me know you!."
The Lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why yes, me know Mr. Bradley since him was a lickle boy too. Him lazy, bigoted, and him always under his whites.
Him cwan build a normal relationship with noone and him law practice is one of the wus in the entire Island. Pon top a dat, him cheat on him wife with three different woman. One of dem was your missis.
Yes, me know him well"
The defense attorney almost died of embarrassment.
The judge ordered both counsellors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, I'll throw your sorry Rasses in jail for contempt."
He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes me know you, Mr. Williams. Me know you since you was a pickney, and frankly, you is a big disappointment to your family.
You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk bout dem behind de backs. You tink you're a big shot when you no have the brains to realize you never be more dan a two-bit paper pusher.
Yes, me know you!."
The Lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why yes, me know Mr. Bradley since him was a lickle boy too. Him lazy, bigoted, and him always under his whites.
Him cwan build a normal relationship with noone and him law practice is one of the wus in the entire Island. Pon top a dat, him cheat on him wife with three different woman. One of dem was your missis.
Yes, me know him well"
The defense attorney almost died of embarrassment.
The judge ordered both counsellors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, I'll throw your sorry Rasses in jail for contempt."