What your partner is HIV +

[Cocoa]

.hypothetically speaking......What if you are with someone for a while and before you never did any background check on them. From the start of the relationship all was good medically. <based on what he/she said>

He never cheated .....You are with him, say 2 years now you are ready to get married. This is the man/woman of your dreams. He proposed and all. But......... you find out he is HIV positive... :icon_eek:

Would you still marry him/her????? What would you do???? :eusa_thin

[BlackCryptoKnight]

.hypothetically speaking......What if you are with someone for a while and before you never did any background check on them. From the start of the relationship all was good medically. <based on what he/she said>

He never cheated .....You are with him, say 2 years now you are ready to get married. This is the man/woman of your dreams. He proposed and all. But......... you find out he is HIV positive... :icon_eek:

Would you still marry him/her????? What would you do???? :eusa_thin

I guess it would depend upon the circumstances surrounding infection. If it was a case where the disease was contracted through blood transfusion or some other way through no fault of hers, I would still marry her - it would be as if she got sick with any other illness - tragic yes, but not cause for me to turn away from her.

If she had contracted it because of risky behaviour (cheating, promiscuity, sharing needles during drug abuse), then I'd more than likely not go through with the wedding. Simply because I wouldn't have any assurance that she was honest in the beginning, and that she would have ceased risky behaviour. In this case it's not even so much about the disease, but the disease would have been more of an indicator as to a certain kind of behaviour which I'd likely have a problem with.

[virus_ncu]

sorry but, i am not going to married her after finding out. and i hope i never had sex with her in this case. even though she did not cheated and cought it before we met, i still dont care. i am going to expect sex when married and using a condom everytime with your wife just dont cut it. a what if it breaks? i cant be bother with te double up thing and condoms are not 100% safe; it may be 99% but its not 100%.
the reason i choose to married her in the first place was because i love her, therefore i would not disown her. i would still be there as her friend untill she die. but no wedding here.

[Gwadinka]

In fact, :mad: I guess I'd first be angry, yelling, crying and after I 'd be really disappointed cause if you intend to marry sb, it's because you have come to a great level of trust and confidence with this person. :icon_cry:

And it would not be the circumstances of the infection that wld affect me but more because sb that I trusted enough to be engaged to and to get married with wld not have had the guts to tell me the truth and share his burden with me. :icon_frow
Also wld come the fact that this guy might have put my life in danger....and for that I guess that it 'd be hard for me to remain friend with him...but I know that once the aftershock is gone, I'd try... :)
But why do you ask Cocoa?

[Cocoa]

It was just something I was thinking about that could happen especially in this day and age. Just a topic of discussion G.

[Bahama Mama]

.hypothetically speaking......What if you are with someone for a while and before you never did any background check on them. From the start of the relationship all was good medically. <based on what he/she said>

He never cheated .....You are with him, say 2 years now you are ready to get married. This is the man/woman of your dreams. He proposed and all. But......... you find out he is HIV positive... :icon_eek:

Would you still marry him/her????? What would you do???? :eusa_thin

Well the question would be how did the person contract the virus in the first place if they werent cheating, and I definnetely wasnt cheating. Contraction of the virus through blood transfusions these days is a rarity with all the screening that they do at labs. So that would leave drug usage apart from cheating. Either of these are a detriment to any relationship where trust and each others well being is and should be a major factor. I would first of all pray to God that I didnt contract the disease. My thing is apart from abstinence, if you and a person arent married, always use a condom, and get regular test. Regardless of my status after the results I would not marry the individual ,because in a committed relationship where honesty and trust should be key, things like these should not be a factor, only under unusual and extreme circumstances of rape do I think a person might and justifiably stay. But to be honest I cant say that I would, at my age and stage of my life.

[icuucme]

I guess it would depend upon the circumstances surrounding infection. If it was a case where the disease was contracted through blood transfusion or some other way through no fault of hers, I would still marry her - it would be as if she got sick with any other illness - tragic yes, but not cause for me to turn away from her.

If she had contracted it because of risky behaviour (cheating, promiscuity, sharing needles during drug abuse), then I'd more than likely not go through with the wedding. Simply because I wouldn't have any assurance that she was honest in the beginning, and that she would have ceased risky behaviour. In this case it's not even so much about the disease, but the disease would have been more of an indicator as to a certain kind of behaviour which I'd likely have a problem with.I strongly agree with your point BCK. If i knew it was not her fault, i would stay. I would have to really rethink if i wanted to marry her, even if she did not get the disease but i realised she was that type of person (cheater, drug abuser,,etc.) i would have to pray about the situation. [Basically what you said :D ]

[Xenocrates]

Love or no love, irrespective of the method in which the disease was contracted, it is highly impractical to marry someone with AIDS for very obvious reasons. You don't have to stop loving them, but marrying them is equivalent to committing suicide. This is why people who intend to get married do testing BEFORE they marry. It makes simple, logical sense.

[BlackCryptoKnight]

Love or no love, irrespective of the method in which the disease was contracted, it is highly impractical to marry someone with AIDS for very obvious reasons. You don't have to stop loving them, but marrying them is equivalent to committing suicide. This is why people who intend to get married do testing BEFORE they marry. It makes simple, logical sense.

I disagree X. If you have unprotected sex with them, it's suicide. But marrying them doesn't mean that you'd be doing that. Marriage a sign of the commitment.
The commitment can be there without taking on the risk that sex would bring in this case.

[Xenocrates]

True. I agree. However, for all the practical intents and purposes of marriage, it makes very little sense. From the original definition of the word, even after taking the vow, you're not actually married until the union is consumated. The original (literal) meaning of the Hebrew word is "the joining of flesh to [become] one". It's even in the Bible. I'm sure you know where it is. ;)

Now I'm not saying that two people cannot be married without consumation. But for all practical intents and purposes, especially for a relatively young people, why bother? One of the major purposes of marriage is procreation. It would be a mortal crime to procreate with a partner who has HIV for very obvious reasons. The poor child would die before getting a chance to taste life in pure normalcy.

Furthermore, as a young person, you would be constantly tempted to cheat on your partner - because certain types of intimacy would most likely be impractical. As a natural man or woman, being in a marriage of such sorts would present some serious psychological strain as your body approaches its natural sexual peak. Why take up such a burden when you could easily join the Jesuit Ministry (if male) or the convent (if female) and achieve a much greater good with the same limitations?

Personally, I believe, before love, before undying affection, practicality is a must. Ofcourse, not all people will agree since everyone thinks differently and assigns a different level of priority to different things. But the problem with "love", is that it inhibits the natural ability of someone to think rationally (as do most other emotions). Quite frankly, I have no say in what a man or woman may choose to do with a partner they claim to love who just happens to have HIV...

...BUT

As for me, however, I see absolutely no point whatsoever, in commiting to a union in which the intended partner is HIV positive. No matter how much I feel for them - It's only an invitation to pure and utter misery. I've never loved somebody so much that I can't stop to think about the practical implications of our union. That kind of love, I'm afraid, is only dispensible by God himself.

[Greatis]

hmmm I not marrying at all. No explanations needed AIDS no star. Live 20 years without sex because you're partner can kill you. Don't tell me bout condom, it's not fool proof. I guess I am heartless huh but I don't give a dime.

[nuhsenutten]

double up star ..............u wouldnt do dat ?

mi naw do it sstill ..........mi love but not dat much

[Bahama Mama]

double up star ..............u wouldnt do dat ?

mi naw do it sstill ..........mi love but not dat much


Just a note, it is recomended that you dont double up while using a condom. The friction generated while having sex, causes the two condoms two rub together and this can lead to a wearing out of the latex. What can happen in an unfortunate case is that both condoms break. Now wouldnt that be some serious cow dung! Therefore honesty, and trust is the key, but yeah I know this the real world, so get tested regularly, and use a condom. But if you dont trust the person enough dont sleep with them period!

[icuucme]

Just a note, it is recomended that you dont double up while using a condom. The friction generated while having sex, causes the two condoms two rub together and this can lead to a wearing out of the latex. What can happen in an unfortunate case is that both condoms break. Now wouldnt that be some serious cow dung! Thas true bahama mama, that's a serious misconception ppl have, ive heard ppl talk about it alotta times, saying that it is better to use two.

[Xenocrates]

Best solution: Abstain before marriage. (I can see those raised eyebrows) - but if you absolutely must, stick to one person. At least before you marry, you can be relatively certain that you know the person well enough. Then you both can get tested and live happily ever after... that is, provided that you intend to get married at all.

Doubling up sounds like a cause of desperation. I mean, do you really love sex so much that you'd risk going with an HIV+ person at all? That's nymphomanic suicide if not borderline crazy if you ask me. Nuh care how she hot, if she have HIV+, it's not even up for discussion. Period. I love life too much to risk it all on one evening of sex. I don't see where that's a logical tradeoff.

Speaking of which, have any of you guys been tested? It's good to know y'know. ;)

[Cocoa]

Well I love him and all but I am not going to married him. Cause he is HIV +. No sense in risking my life and marrying to kill off my self too. I would just be his friend and leave the relationship all together.

[little warchief]

nooooooo sir me nah marry that...i don't mean to make this sound no way but i & i wha get the boat rocking ! ! me nah make no aids girl come sink my boat ! Girl its been real i did love but yu never honest with me from before...CUT ! ! ! !