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AngelsKiss
May 21, 2004, 07:58 AM
Hey they started it!!

Marriage (Part I)

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding,
he laid down the following rules:

"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table
unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing,
boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give
me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"

His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there
will be sex here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."

( SHE'S GOOD!)

Marriage (Part II)

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!

The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads,
'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever.'

"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads,
"Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last.'"

(HE ASKED FOR IT!)

Marriage (Part III)

Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.
Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and
storms out of the house.

After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "what took you so long to answer the phone?"

She says, "I was in bed."

"In bed this early, doing what?"

"Getting a second opinion!"

(YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!)

Marriage (Part IV)

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud
of himself, that he starts calling his wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her
objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and
wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the
top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of six?"

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts right back,
"Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."

(RIGHT ON, LADY!)

God may have created man before woman but there is always a rough draft
before the masterpiece.


:icon_lol: :) :D

Chris
May 21, 2004, 03:38 PM
No comment :eusa_sile

AngelsKiss
May 22, 2004, 07:45 PM
LOL Chris...guilty of some of the above, are you? ;)

Greatis
May 23, 2004, 03:56 PM
:icon_mrgr :icon_mrgr :eusa_sile

Kitten
September 24, 2004, 10:58 AM
Angel you were on a roll with those Jokes. (lol) very good! :icon_mrgr

Greatis
September 25, 2004, 11:23 AM
I see no man has replied to these huh Jokes. It's funny though the last to women are [censored]. Now if this rule holds true hmmm that would mean that at least 50% of females are [censored]...
:icon_mrgr

AngelsKiss
December 11, 2004, 08:50 AM
You have two choices in life: you can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other women replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." She replied, "Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted". Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing "You can have mine."

The bride, upon getting engaged, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!" Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, Men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with the boys on Wednesday nights, and so does she.

During a heated spat over finances the husband said, "Well, if you'd learn to cook and were willing to clean this place, we could fire the maid." The wife, fuming, shot back, "Oh yeah??? Well, if you'd learn how to make love, we could fire the chauffeur and the gardener."

My wife told me I should be more affectionate. So I got two girlfriends.

How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done for free.

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

Chris
December 11, 2004, 09:35 AM
I see no man has replied to these huh Jokes. ...Because we know when to keep silent ... there are som battles we can't win ;)

Cocoa
December 11, 2004, 05:07 PM
Because we know when to keep silent ... there are some battles we can't win ;):D :) Good man ;)