acidblade
June 3, 2005, 02:49 AM
A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday.
She spends $5,000 and feels pretty good about the results.
On her way home she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before
leaving
she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old
do
you
think I am?"
"About 32," is the reply.
"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter
girl
the
very same question. The girl replies, "I guess about 29."
The woman replies, "Nope I'm 50."
Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug
store on
her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints
and
asks the clerk this burning question. The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd
say
30."
Again she proudly responds, "I am 50, but thank you."
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting
next to
her the same question. He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eye sight is
going.
Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a
woman
was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my
hands
under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old
you
are."
They wait in silence on the empty street until curiosity gets the
best of
her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead." He slips both
of
his
hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and
carefully.
He bounces and weighs each breast...He gently pinches each nipple. He
pushes
her breasts together and rubs them against each other. After a couple
of
minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay...How old am I?"
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and
says.
"
Madam, you are 50."
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible,
how could you tell?'
The old man replies, "promise you won't get mad?"
"I promise I won't." she says.
He replies, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
She spends $5,000 and feels pretty good about the results.
On her way home she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before
leaving
she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old
do
you
think I am?"
"About 32," is the reply.
"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter
girl
the
very same question. The girl replies, "I guess about 29."
The woman replies, "Nope I'm 50."
Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug
store on
her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints
and
asks the clerk this burning question. The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd
say
30."
Again she proudly responds, "I am 50, but thank you."
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting
next to
her the same question. He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eye sight is
going.
Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a
woman
was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my
hands
under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old
you
are."
They wait in silence on the empty street until curiosity gets the
best of
her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead." He slips both
of
his
hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and
carefully.
He bounces and weighs each breast...He gently pinches each nipple. He
pushes
her breasts together and rubs them against each other. After a couple
of
minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay...How old am I?"
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and
says.
"
Madam, you are 50."
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible,
how could you tell?'
The old man replies, "promise you won't get mad?"
"I promise I won't." she says.
He replies, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."