Honey I'm pregnant ...........

[Lisa20]

Have you ever wondered why is it that with a baby everything changes in a relattionship?

Lets look at this picture right.....? Man and woman.... been together for about nine years... right... woman tells man that she is pregnant and man knows that it is his child.... man is over joyed.... so is woman.... nine months later man and woman have seperated..... neither knows what is the cause for the spilt.... they don't know how to even rectifiy the mattter....so they decide to seperate for good!!!!!!!!!!

Now what could have caused this? We need to remember that they have been together happliy for a long period of time so why should the birth of their child cause them to split??????????

I have seen this happen to a lot of my friends and i am the one person they all turn to for advise, well now I have decided to ask you: Why does this happen?

Now people don't be shy just say whats on your mind...... and be blunt and honest :icon_twis

[Chris]

this is a tough one because it calls for an understanding into the mindset of the couple, and no two couple are the same.

Generally speaking, it could be that a child is a sign of the need for commitment. Some persons can't see themselves committing and so a break up occurs, unfortunately. In my limited experience I usually see the women willing to commit and work things out. Of course there will be some women who aren't ready for a commitment and so they split. However, I believe that in a majority of the cases it's the man in the relationship that splits. Unfortunately in Jamaica this scenario is all too common. I'm a man and trust me, I don't respect any man who does this. I think it's a sign of immaturity and cowardice when a man skips out on a child and mother. I know that things may not work out, but the man should do all in their control to maintain some stability at least for the child(ren). Then again, if the man skips, then they're probably better off without him being around anyway :mad:

Sorry for my harsh crtiticism, but I'm a father of 2 and I love them and their Mom dearly. The thought of them being left alone by my doing upsets me to the core.

Peace.

[Chicokid]

It could also mean that the couple is not mentally ready to take up the challenges of raising a child

[MiTcHiE]

Wondering if its his kid could also be the problem, although a simple blood test could clear that up.

[Cocoa]

Maybe secretly its not the man's child.
Or reality hit them of the responsibility of the child in so that they can't commit to each other because of this.
Or they choose not to be together as lovers/parents anymore.

[deakie]

there are particular things that happens when a woman has a child. its not always the same extent in all women but can be more in some than others.
one of these is depression (post natal) , another is total absorbtion of the child.
both of these two things can affect the relationship with the man.
with post natal, the woman is at risk if not treated early as this can continue through life. its quite common and most women get over it real quick without anyone noticing.
the other one, for which i dont know the proper name, for children its a kind of sibling rivalry, but a similar thing exist for the father, and the man can feel totally left out of the arrangement. he may then wander off to seek solice elsewhere or may completely leave.
this is why talking it through with the family or a counselor could help, if such things are becoming apparent.

unless either individual can recognise what is happening, then its likely the relationship will suffer.

edit* panic by the dad is also another factor. the whole idea of looking after a child and the big responsibilty that goes with it.
this i think is the main genetic defect we have seen in jamaican men in particular. :icon_mrgr

[BlackCryptoKnight]

there are particular things that happens when a woman has a child. its not always the same extent in all women but can be more in some than others.
one of these is depression (post natal) , another is total absorbtion of the child.
both of these two things can affect the relationship with the man.
with post natal, the woman is at risk if not treated early as this can continue through life. its quite common and most women get over it real quick without anyone noticing.
the other one, for which i dont know the proper name, for children its a kind of sibling rivalry, but a similar thing exist for the father, and the man can feel totally left out of the arrangement. he may then wander off to seek solice elsewhere or may completely leave.
this is why talking it through with the family or a counselor could help, if such things are becoming apparent.

unless either individual can recognise what is happening, then its likely the relationship will suffer.

edit* panic by the dad is also another factor. the whole idea of looking after a child and the big responsibilty that goes with it.
this i think is the main genetic defect we have seen in jamaican men in particular. :icon_mrgr

Deakie, I think the correct term is post partum depression. It's a serious thing, and has caused some women to actually harm their babies.

[Gillion]

i am sitting here drawing on my now long beard pondering what is going on.... there is something "hamletish" about this thread.

[deakie]

ahahaha.....gill yu funny enuh....hehehhee

[AngelsKiss]

Actually I think the problem of seperation is a little deeper than that. A part from the fact that many children are unplanned, I think the idea of the family unit in Jamaica is not particularly strong. Many children in Jamaica have an active mother and not a father. Why is that? Several reasons here I think:

1) Our men have gotten use to the idea of being studs - you know from the days of slavery where they had to father these kids only to have them taken away and sold.

2) In days gone by and even in today's world, many parents and particularly mothers do not teach their boys about responsibility. I specifically mention mothers since in most instances the women are the ones who are left with the responsibility of child rearing.

3) Too many youngsters having children and they have no clue about taking care of themselves muchless another human being.

4) How many of us have ever questioned what our purpose here on earth. Who we are and why do we exist? When we start doing this may be we will have more ppl fullfilling their responsibilities, even if they came about due to a mishap.

[Greatis]

why people keep saying Jamaican men this and that. Is it only indigenous to Jamaica this absentee father thing. I say it's not so, I may be wrong but hmmm facts please.

[BlackCryptoKnight]

Unfortunately, some parent's actually get jealous of the attention the baby gets. Some fathers feel neglected when all the focus is on the baby. So they split. Sometimes the mothers attitude changes after childbirth and she's not the same person as before, so the relationship changes. Sometimes it changes for the worse.

[acidblade]

this is a tough one because it calls for an understanding into the mindset of the couple, and no two couple are the same.

Generally speaking, it could be that a child is a sign of the need for commitment. Some persons can't see themselves committing and so a break up occurs, unfortunately. In my limited experience I usually see the women willing to commit and work things out. Of course there will be some women who aren't ready for a commitment and so they split. However, I believe that in a majority of the cases it's the man in the relationship that splits. Unfortunately in Jamaica this scenario is all too common. I'm a man and trust me, I don't respect any man who does this. I think it's a sign of immaturity and cowardice when a man skips out on a child and mother. I know that things may not work out, but the man should do all in their control to maintain some stability at least for the child(ren). Then again, if the man skips, then they're probably better off without him being around anyway :mad:

Sorry for my harsh crtiticism, but I'm a father of 2 and I love them and their Mom dearly. The thought of them being left alone by my doing upsets me to the core.

Peace.
:icon_eek: chris use to post :icon_eek:

[Arch_Angel]

:icon_eek: chris use to post :icon_eek:Yup, then you came and all hell broke loose. :icon_lol:

[acidblade]

Yup, then you came and all hell broke loose. :icon_lol:
good. cause we have too many long stories to read now

[acidblade]

Dna Test!!!!! A Nuh Fi Me!!!!!!!!!

[Twinkie]

Post Partum Depression is not as acknowledged as it should be. It is actually one of the leading causes for separation in a relationship, where the baby just born.

Going thru her depression the mother may not even be aware that she is depressed, she just knows, she doesn't want the man around her and start develop resentment feelings.

Most men also are not emotionally equipped to help the mom when the baby arrives. During the nine months they don't have much responsibility but fetching crave foods and rubbing the feet. The baby demands a whole lot more and they may crumble under the pressure.

Next, a mom may ONLY NOW be seeing the true colours of sed baby daddy. Wutless, undependable, uncaring, unfeeling kruff.

[cherrylips86]

The truth is men dont love responsibilities and committment. Most men are in relationships just for the fun of it, meaning the sex, parties, etc. But when the reality of a child bite them in the butt they normally run. Sometimes, the women run too, leaving the child with the father or a close relative but this is not as common as the previous.

[acidblade]

The truth is men dont love responsibilities and or committment. Most men are in relationships just for the fun of it meaning; the asex, parties, etc. But when the reality of a child bite them in the butt they normally run. Sometimes, the women run too, leaving the child with the father or a close relative but this is not as common as the previous.
so men don't love responsibilities but willin to get a girl pregnant? :eusa_thin zeen