Jae
September 21, 2005, 09:57 PM
Dear Husband:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm
leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you
for seven years and I have nothing to show for it.
These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called
to tell me that you had quit your job today and that
was the last straw. Last week, you came home and
didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails
done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand
new negligee. You came home and ate in
two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching
the game.
You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch
me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't
love me anymore, what ever the case is, I'm gone.
P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your
BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia
together! Have a great life!
Your EX-Wife
Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your
letter. It's true that you and I have been married
for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry
from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try
to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that
doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of
your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind
was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to
not say anything if you can't say anything nice.
When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten
me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating
pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you
had on that new negligee because the price tag was
still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that
my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me
that morning and your negligee was $49.99.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we
could work it out. So when I discovered that I had
hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job
and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got
home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I
guess. I hope you have the filling life you always
wanted.
My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you
won't get a dime from me. So take care.
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl,
my brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a
problem.
Signed Rich As Hell and Free
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm
leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you
for seven years and I have nothing to show for it.
These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called
to tell me that you had quit your job today and that
was the last straw. Last week, you came home and
didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails
done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand
new negligee. You came home and ate in
two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching
the game.
You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch
me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't
love me anymore, what ever the case is, I'm gone.
P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your
BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia
together! Have a great life!
Your EX-Wife
Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your
letter. It's true that you and I have been married
for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry
from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try
to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that
doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of
your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind
was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to
not say anything if you can't say anything nice.
When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten
me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating
pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you
had on that new negligee because the price tag was
still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that
my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me
that morning and your negligee was $49.99.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we
could work it out. So when I discovered that I had
hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job
and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got
home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I
guess. I hope you have the filling life you always
wanted.
My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you
won't get a dime from me. So take care.
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl,
my brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a
problem.
Signed Rich As Hell and Free