No Romance without Finance

[BlackCryptoKnight]

What's up with this "No romance without finance" mentality that is so popluar today? Do you have to be a big spender to be in a relationship? :eusa_thin

[Cocoa]

I don't know fi true...
what's up with that?

[BlackCryptoKnight]

Can't a bruk pocket brotha get sum luv? :eusa_pray

[Cocoa]

Can't a bruk pocket brotha get sum luv? :eusa_prayLOLOL... I heard you the first time.
Yes he can in my book. If and only if, he is still ambitious, thinking about going somewhere in life and walking in that direction of success.

If he's a bum, he won't have a chance. Then he'd be a sponger.

[Arch_Angel]

LOL BCK.

I guess you would need to find that woman/man who loves you for who you are and not for what's in your wallet/purse.

[BlackCryptoKnight]

Thank God I met my wife when we were both broke and had nothing.

[Cocoa]

Thank God I met my wife when we were both broke and had nothing.LOL...good. But I prefer the humble ones too. As long as he's going somewhere in life.
So when we become more successful, he would know that it was all about love and not what he had. And viceversa.

[BlackCryptoKnight]

LOLOL... I heard you the first time.
Yes he can in my book. If and only if, he is still ambitious, thinking about going somewhere in life and walking in that direction of success.

If he's a bum, he won't have a chance. Then he'd be a sponger.

What constitutes ambition?

What if he is a janitor/handyman and enjoys his work? Would you want him to change jobs?

[Cocoa]

No man! I am so not saying that. At least he has a job.
There are bums out there. Men that say I don't want to work or I don't even want to get a degree or a course in something. i just want to live a thome with mama. There is no love with JAbutter for him.

I am talking about the ones who already has a job (no matter what it is). He is thinking of progression, upward mobility and something better, if possible, than what he is doing.

I would never judge by what kind of job he possess.

[BlackCryptoKnight]

No man! I am so not saying that. At least he has a job.
There are bums out there. Men that say I don't want to work or I don't even want to get a degree or a course in something. i just want to live a thome with mama. There is no love with JAbutter for him.

I am talking about the ones who already has a job (no matter what it is). He is thinking of progression, upward mobility and something better, if possible, than what he is doing.

I would never judge by what kind of job he possess.

Gotcha.

I'd really like to know where the gold digger syndrome that is so prolific today came from. Many ladies not even looking at you unless you pushing a shiny new vehicle. :eusa_thin

[Cocoa]

Well I have a friend who has that mentality. Some factors to consider that she showed are:
- thats the way her mom taught her. Get a man that can take care of you financially just in case you fall short, he can pay the bills. (this is what she did and that's one of her first priorities.)

- "I'm a woman, he's a man, why should I have to spend all the time when he has money?" They need a man with money to take care of them.

- Money is a major asset... seems like the answer to all 'their' (the women with this mentality) problems.

-Financial security in her life

[MiTcHiE]

Its because of the bling bling syndrome. I can show u this by using a simple example. A car. Doesnt have to be anything fancy, just 4 wheels. Girls look at u different because they will say that from the guy is driving he has money.

So u can imagine when a guy have an X5 with sprewell rims. Now that is what is called a Pa*ty Dropper. :eusa_shif :eusa_shif

Did I just say that :eusa_whis :eusa_whis

Anyways 4 real though any guy driving nowadays dont need to do much to have a girl. He probably has to fight them off with a stick. The funny thing is the man can be butt ugly 2 and still have the sweetest girl on the block. Its all about his mula.

[MiTcHiE]

Well I have a friend who has that mentality. Some factors to consider that she showed are:
- thats the way her mom taught her. Get a man that can take care of you financially just in case you fall short, he can pay the bills. (this is what she did and that's one of her first priorities.)

- "I'm a woman, he's a man, why should I have to spend all the time when he has money?" They need a man with money to take care of them.

- Money is a major asset... seems like the answer to all 'their' (the women with this mentality) problems.

-Financial security in her life

But yet when Destiny's child song independent woman starts these same girls sing the loudest, I just laugh when I see them.

[Gillion]

ossible, than what he is doing.

I would never judge by what kind of job he possess.

???????????????????????????????????????

whats the catch....

I am soo skeptical of women these days....

[Cocoa]

???????????????????????????????????????

whats the catch....

I am soo skeptical of women these days....
What you mean catch? What catch? Explain plz.

[Greatis]

well good question BCK.. I had one such conversation here at work a couple of dayz ago... Now it seems that Jamaican women believe that their [censored] is better than the males and he needs to pay for it... One particular female says here money is her's and the males is for both of them...

[Cocoa]

Now it seems that Jamaican women believe that their [censored] is better than the males and he needs to pay for it... One particular female says here money is her's and the males is for both of them... Oh my ..... :o not all Ja'can women of course. This sounds like a form of prostitution.

[Greatis]

Well not all of course not... This is not a rule just the particular gold diggers we are referring to...

[Cocoa]

Ok I see now. Thanks for clarifying.

[Chicokid]

The Love of money is the root of all evil

When you have alot of money, you must be very careful who or WHAT you find yourself getting into.

Ever notice that when pals are famous and have lots of $$$$, people fall for them very easily :confused:

[Greatis]

@ chicokid true but the question is this why do women think that we should be paying for their every whim... Because of the notion that we are bread winners?

[MiTcHiE]

Whenever u buk up a girl with that perception, tell her to go listen to Destiny's Child - Independent Woman. They will probably dislike u but who cares.

[seanbee]

I don't think that the phrase no romance without finance is true. A man can find love regardless of what he has in his pockets. Sure he will not be the talk of the town in terms of the ladies, and may have to work harder to get a girl, but has was said if a man can display certain charactersitics like having ambition and wanting to go somewhere in life, he can easily get a girl. In this world, we have many different types of people, in terms of women, we have the gold digging types, the types who are totally not into men, the type who is not really a gold digger but still requires the man to have some money, the type who can see past all the hype and see the goodness within a man, etc. From my experience with women though, all of these females have one thing in common, they all require a form of security in life, a woman likes to know that she can enjoy some security in her life, most women are not going to take up a man who just wants to sit at home and watch TV.

Just my two cents

[Cocoa]

but has was said if a man can display certain charactersitics like having ambition and wanting to go somewhere in life, he can easily get a girl. :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap


the type who can see past all the hype and see the goodness within a man, etc. From my experience with women though, all of these females have one thing in common, they all require a form of security in life, a woman likes to know that she can enjoy some security in her life, most women are not going to take up a man who just wants to sit at home and watch TV. Now that is true. Security yes but not necessarily found in his posket and in what he posses. But it begins with his mind. If he is showing signs of upward mobility then yes! If he is showing a 'don't-care, ain't trying to go nowhere" attitude, then total turn-off.

[seanbee]

I have always found a lot of men complaining about women only wanting money and material stuff, but they should understand that women by nature tend to want to be pampered and it doesn't necessarily take money to pamper a lady. Genuine females can appreciate the simple gesture of the man picking a rose for her or just sending a text message on her phone saying "Have a great day" etc.

Being honest, I at times think that the whining that men do about woman only wanting men with car and men with money is a great double standard. Men also want women to possess certain things, most men not going to talk to a female that is considered "ugly" or one that does not have much ambition so why should a female not be allowed to say that I want a man with a car or a man who has a good job. I am not saying that it is okay for a woman to be all caught up with a man's ride and that is the only reason why she talks to him, but what is wrong with her setting her standards.

My questions to the guys are: how many of you would want a female who just wants to sit at home and watch soap operas? How many of you would try to have a relationship with the "ugly" girl down the road even though this girl is genuine? How many of you would talk to the girl who made some mistakes in the past with men, and is seen as the neighbourhood sl*t?

Let me be the first to answer, I know I would find it hard to pursue a relationship with any of the above, why, because i have set myself certain standards of a female, why cannot a woman do the same?

My biggest problem is when men try to put on to get a female, when they know they cannot afford a BMW but take out loans to buy an expensive car just to impress a female. In my opinion, the man is simply trying to buy love and we all know that love cannot be bought.

My advice therefore is not to criticize the female who requires finance for romance, but to seek the female who meets your individual standard/preference. If you do like gold diggers then don't seek a gold digger, it is that simple

[Greatis]

We almost totally agree with you Sean however we are just trying to find out why some particular women have the notion "No Romance without Finance". That's all...

[BlackCryptoKnight]

Genuine females can appreciate the simple gesture of the man picking a rose for her or just sending a text message on her phone saying "Have a great day" etc.
Indeed seanbee..."Genuine females" do appreciate those little gestures. Sadly many females out there are not genuine (nor are many men).



Being honest, I at times think that the whining that men do about woman only wanting men with car and men with money is a great double standard. Men also want women to possess certain things, most men not going to talk to a female that is considered "ugly" or one that does not have much ambition so why should a female not be allowed to say that I want a man with a car or a man who has a good job. I am not saying that it is okay for a woman to be all caught up with a man's ride and that is the only reason why she talks to him, but what is wrong with her setting her standards.
Nothing wrong with setting standards. The problem is the nature of the standards. When all you see before you is money or some hanky panky, and your standards are dependent on how big a cheque can you get out of the person or how much hanky panky you can have, then you have lost respect for people and are more likely to treat them badly.


i have set myself certain standards of a female, why cannot a woman do the same?
Again, nothing wrong with setting standards.


My biggest problem is when men try to put on to get a female, when they know they cannot afford a BMW but take out loans to buy an expensive car just to impress a female. In my opinion, the man is simply trying to buy love and we all know that love cannot be bought.
There wouldn't be a supply if there wasn't a demand. If certain women did not have BMW as part of their standards, those men would not bankrupt themselves to have one.


My advice therefore is not to criticize the female who requires finance for romance, but to seek the female who meets your individual standard/preference. If you do like gold diggers then don't seek a gold digger, it is that simple
:eusa_clap

But still... we have to speak out about the gold diggers... :eusa_naug
They must have respect for themselves and realize that "man ah nuh fool".
Don't expect to run down a man's money and not be treated in certain ways...

[seanbee]

Yes guys I agree that there are indeed Gold digging women, but we should also remember that there also exists Gold digging men, whilst not as dominant as the women, they do exist. And yes it is sad that a woman/man would notice the size of your wallet/purse before noticing anything else, but that is life. As with every creature created, we are the good and we have the bad

[BlackCryptoKnight]

Yes guys I agree that there are indeed Gold digging women, but we should also remember that there also exists Gold digging men, whilst not as dominant as the women, they do exist. And yes it is sad that a woman/man would notice the size of your wallet/purse before noticing anything else, but that is life. As with every creature created, we are the good and we have the bad

Gold diggers of any kind are bad news. They only sell themselves short in the long run.

[philben]

Put a spin on this, there is something I've been trying to understnad.

Why is it that men have a problem if the woman has more money i.e. in better financial standings?

[Greatis]

Philben this thread should help you. HERE YOU Go (http://www.caribyard.com/forums/showthread.php?t=224)

[philben]

Thanks Greatis - it helped to answer some of my other questions as well.

[BlackCryptoKnight]

It's sad that the message being put out there in the popular music, videos, and film is that you've got to pay to play. There's more to life than material things.

[Gillion]

my yout a whay you a lament for ?

cool nuh man !

any oman dat relish di money before di romance... is nothing more that a subtle, subconscious, closet prostitue...

yuh no want notting fi do wid a woman like dat ?

it better if a girl seh she don't want a bum.. den wi can work, but if gon be all up in mi bank book den I gonna put her down as a chick or an egg in my hen house and pay for WHAT SHE ONLY GOOD FOR yuh zimmi ?

yuh tink mi nice ?

[BlackCryptoKnight]

my yout a whay you a lament for ?

cool nuh man !

any oman dat relish di money before di romance... is nothing more that a subtle, subconscious, closet prostitue...

yuh no want notting fi do wid a woman like dat ?

it better if a girl seh she don't want a bum.. den wi can work, but if gon be all up in mi bank book den I gonna put her down as a chick or an egg in my hen house and pay for WHAT SHE ONLY GOOD FOR yuh zimmi ?

yuh tink mi nice ?

Fada G, wi dun know seh nuh joke aready breddrin. It's jus' a shame weh Babylon a teach di yutes dem zeen?

Babylon release di chain but dem a use dem brain - Junior Reid

[Bashment Girl]

What's up with this "No romance without finance" mentality that is so popluar today? Do you have to be a big spender to be in a relationship? :eusa_thin

No not for real women who know what a REAL man is!

I think it's the song by Foxy Brown & Mya ... these silly girls take these thing too seriously...lol :icon_lol:

[BlackCryptoKnight]

No not for real women who know what a REAL man is!
Bwoy, it look like seh di "real" women dem scarce nowadayz then. :eusa_thin

[Manu]

Really? I know nuff nice girls.....is just that most of my brethrens are dawgs.....

Sorry...but is the truth! Good men are scarce....

[bernie]

both good men and women are both scarce......

[acidblade]

both good men and women are both scarce......
Good Women

[Manu]

:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :( :( :(

[pogi_2nr]

yeah, I am not a fan of girls benifiting financially from me.

No girls have been on my payroll so far :D, and hopefully none will ever be.
I remember I was talking to a guy the other day about liabilities and he said
I didnt have to worry much coz I didnt have a gf.. :rotflm: wtf... poor boy :(
I just laughed at him still as unbeknown to him I was interfacing with his ex
and had the opposite experience.

I think the problem is that some guys try to win girls over with the wrong things
money and stuff. I bank my money and get girls from my sparkling personality fund.

[BlackCryptoKnight]

I bank my money and get girls from my sparkling personality fund.
Weren't you the same guy lamenting over not being able to get girls in other threads? Whaapen, di fund get deplete? :rotflm:


j/k

[pogi_2nr]

yeah.. the problem is that most ladies dont recognise that currency.

[Lisa20]

Can't a bruk pocket brotha get sum luv? :eusa_pray

yeah a bruk pocket brotha can get some love as long has him not no cruff.

He should be able to outline the steps he is taking in getting financially independent...........cause i do not like no dependent man.:eusa_naug

[bernie]

yeah a bruk pocket brotha can get some love as long has him not no cruff.

He should be able to outline the steps he is taking in getting financially independent...........cause i do not like no dependent man.:eusa_naug
point taken...but suppose you are with a man and he meets an accident and is not able to work for a couple of months? what then? would you stay with him and provide for him?

[acidblade]

point taken...but suppose you are with a man and he meets an accident and is not able to work for a couple of months? what then? would you stay with him and provide for him?
speak the truth gold diggers

[Lisa20]

point taken...but suppose you are with a man and he meets an accident and is not able to work for a couple of months? what then? would you stay with him and provide for him?
of course i would, it would be unfair for me not to. He was taking care of me gefore the accident so why should i be cruel and not be kind like wise.

[bernie]

of course i would, it would be unfair for me not to. He was taking care of me gefore the accident so why should i be cruel and not be kind like wise.
k....lets push some buttons......
suppose he lost a limb....or went blind even....suppose your man that was taking such good care of you became totally dependent on you due to the accident? would you be the good little wifey and girlfriend and stick around?
(yea yea kinda twisting it a bit:eusa_whis )

[Lisa20]

k....lets push some buttons......
suppose he lost a limb....or went blind even....suppose your man that was taking such good care of you became totally dependent on you due to the accident? would you be the good little wifey and girlfriend and stick around?
(yea yea kinda twisting it a bit:eusa_whis )


more than likely........honestly bernie u got me there. if i was to answer from the heart it might lead to an argument

[bernie]

more than likely........honestly bernie u got me there. if i was to answer from the heart it might lead to an argument
well thank you for being honest...i like that;)

[BlackCryptoKnight]

more than likely........honestly bernie u got me there. if i was to answer from the heart it might lead to an argument

How is it love if it's dependent on finances? Isn't love supposed to be unconditional?

[acidblade]

How is it love if it's dependent on finances? Isn't love supposed to be unconditional?
:eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap

[easyskanka]

How is it love if it's dependent on finances? Isn't love supposed to be unconditional?

I think women refer to it as practicality under those circumstances.

[Jae]

Well some ppl need a jump start, I guess that's where the money come in....:rotflm:

[bernie]

Well some ppl need a jump start, I guess that's where the money come in....:rotflm:
well if a mi money she after she go jump lef it:eusa_whis

[acidblade]

a then u wonder why some men treat women like.......

[Jae]

well if a mi money she after she go jump lef it:eusa_whis
Ha ha ha more like jump inna ur pocket!!!!!!!

[Lisa20]

So what you trying to say that you would date a woman who has no ambition, or as i said before a cruff?

Be honest now zeen: you met a girl who is use to getting her every whims catered to, never worked in her life, has no goals in life about wat she wants financially, except a guy who will maintain.

Then u happen to meet another girl who is also used to every whims being catered to, has never worked in her life, she realises that it will not benefit her to be dependent on men for the remainder of her days and has certain steps in place as to how she will go about gaining her independence and take you for who u are and not what you have to give.

Who would you chose?

The one with no future but to milk you dry or the one who has made the decision to take for who u are and not what you have

[Manu]

So what you trying to say that you would date a woman who has no ambition, or as i said before a cruff?

Be honest now zeen: you met a girl who is use to getting her every whims catered to, never worked in her life, has no goals in life about wat she wants financially, except a guy who will maintain.

Then u happen to meet another girl who is also used to every whims being catered to, has never worked in her life, she realises that it will not benefit her to be dependent on men for the remainder of her days and has certain steps in place as to how she will go about gaining her independence and take you for who u are and not what you have to give.

Who would you chose?

The one with no future but to milk you dry or the one who has made the decision to take for who u are and not what you have


In a situation like this....most men would choose the cuter one....regardless. For me....it just depends on which has the better personality and based on the one who has outlined certain steps needed to be taken to be independent...it means she is not selfish...hence she woulda probably get my bankbook anyways!

[pogi_2nr]

cuter? lol how about none of them.

Any girl Im talking to needs to be in school or working and
can survive on her own without any assistance from me.

[acidblade]

In a situation like this....most men would choose the cuter one....regardless. For me....it just depends on which has the better personality and based on the one who has outlined certain steps needed to be taken to be independent...it means she is not selfish...hence she woulda probably get my bankbook anyways!
my yute a which girl pon di forum yuh a look? :icon_lol: :icon_lol:

[BlackCryptoKnight]

So what you trying to say that you would date a woman who has no ambition, or as i said before a cruff?

Too many women confuse (intentionally or not) the issue of availability of finances, with the issue of having ambition.

If you would consider leaving somebody because they lost their ability to make money, then you didn't love them in the first place. If you loved them, and committed to them, then you would stay with them regardless of their ability to make money, or even if they lost their "ambition". Love is supposed to be unconditional. That's the point many people don't get, or don't subscribe to these days. They "love" you as long as they can get something out of it.

If you are looking to start a relationship, then by all means, accept or reject a person based on whatever criteria you want, but understand that there are likely to be consequences for that decision. Also, once you make a commitment, to maintain your integrity, you should not break that commitment. If that commitment is "for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer", then should the poorer times come, you are supposed to stick it out, and stay with the person you committed to love.

[bernie]

In a situation like this....most men would choose the cuter one....regardless. For me....it just depends on which has the better personality and based on the one who has outlined certain steps needed to be taken to be independent...it means she is not selfish...hence she woulda probably get my bankbook anyways!
sound like the ladies sen' een applications to you boss....

[bernie]

cuter? lol how about none of them.

Any girl Im talking to needs to be in school or working and
can survive on her own without any assistance from me.
see...i too like an independent woman...but you my brother....well yuh just soun' mean......like yuh nuh give away prayers:eusa_snoo

[Manu]

my yute a which girl pon di forum yuh a look? :icon_lol: :icon_lol:

Just cool man blade....you a move like you sharper than the rest suh....lol

[acidblade]

Just cool man blade....you a move like you sharper than the rest suh....lol
well mi nuh name blade fi nutten :eusa_whis :eusa_whis

[Twinkie]

How could I have missed this thread:

2 cents:

I used to be drawn to the "broke but ambitious" men.

Only because when a man have money/car etc, there's another girl out there willing to do anything to take him from you. No competition ting round here

... Not no more

I'm now drawn to the "making it nice with even more ambition"

I need a MAN to ... help me realise my dream. When I'm slacking off, he should be able to motivate me, remind me that WE have something to accomplish together.

[Gillion]

How could I have missed this thread:

2 cents:

I used to be drawn to the "broke but ambitious" men.

Only because when a man have money/car etc, there's another girl out there willing to do anything to take him from you. No competition ting round here

... Not no more

I'm now drawn to the "making it nice with even more ambition"

I need a MAN to ... help me realise my dream. When I'm slacking off, he should be able to motivate me, remind me that WE have something to accomplish together.

OK Fair enough ...

So Twinks.

What do YOU bring to the table ?

So so ambition ?

What do YOU bring to the life of a real man ?

Are you going to turn him into a "father figure" or "teacher" ?

or will it be an EQUAL TRADE of qualites, experiences moods and attitudes ?

Now Twinks, I not pointing to you at all in this last bit because I do not know you so duh ... do not punch out my eye.

A real man needs a real WOMAN not a girl in transition.

There are some young girls I know, mostly in the under 26 - 28 year group that seem to forget that they have to have somethng to bring to the table.

Always mouthing off about "not dealing with a broke but ambitious guy" yet, they themselves are broke and VERY ambitious.

I mentioned this to a young girl once and she said all she need is her **** ***** and he will be okay.

I had to let her know that REAL man need a mature second half not a fitted sheet set.

[BlackCryptoKnight]

I need a MAN to ... help me realise my dream.
Why is this?
Can you not achieve and accomplish things for yourself?
What about this "Independent Woman" argument? Yuh nuh join dat?
Do finances determine whether someone is a MAN or not?
Why should a MAN as you put it, be with you and help you do anything?
Are you willing to sacrifice in other areas as long as his finances are strong?

Y'all women really amuse me with your responses to this kind of topic ... :cool:

[Gillion]

[highlight
Any girl Im talking to needs to be in school or working and
can survive on her own without any assistance from me.
[/highlight]



AMEN !!! AMEN !!! AMEN !!!

The point I try to make when counseling younger guys is that if you deal with this X girl and she has a child for you, you need to ensure that if YOU THE MAN DIE she has the modern day skill set and resources to raise your kids without much pain.

More so if you get shot and maimed or sick or you become unemloyed that you can rally back on her for support till the time comes you get back on your feet again if possible.

In this modern world ordinary people in a relationship can't run on one gas burner it has to be 2 or more.

I usually ask guys when the tell me bout the "hot new girl" How good is she with managing her money ?

A girl that can properly manage money and stretch a dollar to 100% is a fine woman in the making... but if you give her X amount every month as an allowance and she "blows it" on crap ... that don't benefit her or you ... then dun that relationship because she is still a little girl in a candy store.

[Gillion]

Why is this?
Can you not achieve and accomplish things for yourself?
What about this "Independent Woman" argument? Yuh nuh join dat?
Do finances determine whether someone is a MAN or not?
Why should a MAN as you put it, be with you and help you do anything?
Are you willing to sacrifice in other areas as long as his finances are strong?

Y'all women really amuse me with your responses to this kind of topic ... :cool:


What she means is ... sombody who has ALREADY found themselves emotionally, economically, spirtually and physcially.

Do not take that statement out of context. The girl is right.

Too many guys are "AMBITIOUS" and have not really put their shoulder to the wheel of life. They are just FILLED with "BRIGHT IDEAS"

The bottom line is BCK ... she sick and tired of the unbalanced DREAMERS.

You have to have a blance between dream and reality.

You dig ?

Real men are balanced that way ... boys aren't

And you know what she meant too you just ebing difficult.

[BlackCryptoKnight]

What she means is ... sombody who has ALREADY found themselves emotionally, economically, spirtually and physcially.

Do not take that statement out of context. The girl is right.

Too many guys are "AMBITIOUS" and have not really put their shoulder to the wheel of life. They are just FILLED with "BRIGHT IDEAS"

The bottom line is BCK ... she sick and tired of the unbalanced DREAMERS.

You have to have a blance between dream and reality.

You dig ?

Real men are balanced that way ... boys aren't

And you know what she meant too you just ebing difficult.

I'd like to see her answer it G. If she feels I've taken it out of context, and concurs with what you've stated, then fine. Things would have been clarified.

The way in which she phrased her response lead me to ask those questions - it's not clear that she meant what you said.

[Gillion]

I have a fren who recently married.

Lovely wife too.

Usually as a bachelor, he spent his money on his car or his video games, living at his folks house. Not saving a dime.

Then he moved out into his new house with wifey.

Comes to me and says...

"DAMN STAR I NEVER KNEW !! "

"Look how life did easy one time and now mi go tek up oman !"

His lament was that when he gets paid he has to now fork over 95% of it to her to buy food, deal with the mortgage and pay the bills and the worst part is she isn't working. She got laid off."

So he has no breathing room for any of his pet projects, namely his car and his football matches.

He realised that all those dollars he WASTED as a bachelor could have been saved toward his future and hers indirectly which would have given them BOTH breathing room.

So now ... the first job she lands she has to take no questions asked ... she doesn't have that kind of leasure because they do nto have breathing room to have a child and she WANTS one.

Nothing pissess of a woman more "sometimes" than to realises she can't have a child because she is broke... or wait for it ... her MAN is broke.

So we see the light yet ?

Bottom line ... BIOLOGY dictates that Women bear our children but the need support.

This comes in the form of "FINANCE"

We do not live in a hunt and gather society anymore it is a "work and earn" society.

[Gillion]

Sombody once told me that a

Mans test in this life is a WOMAN

A Womans test in this life is MATERIAL

I have yet to see this as ABSOLUTE truth but so far it seems to be proving right.

Most women realise from VERY EARLY they need to be COMFORTABLE and a certain amount of "financial" breathing room is necessary for that to happen.

Proof ... 75% of UWI and UTECH graduates are female

If you do not offer that breathing room then you are ... as a man ... going to end up with a miserable nagging woman that may pressure you to STEAL SHOOT AND KILL if your not careful.

Why do you think so many bad men exist in Ja ?

Because, both their Mothers' and their Women do not mind where the money is comming from as long as it comes.

"Mi know him shoot people but him tek care of mi !"

BADMANISM would be on a low volume in this country if WOMEN wanted it to be that way

We men on our own are content to live one day at a time, most women are not.

You see ... Women, because both halves of their brains are wired together better than ours (biologically) think long term better than we do.

You meet a girl today and tomorrow she is matching up your last name to her first in her head wondering if she should double barrel it or change it totally.

The day they meet you they start running down the street of thought wondering about the future.

[Twinkie]

OK Fair enough ...
So Twinks.
Yes Gills

What do YOU bring to the table ?
Well I work, I have no problem adding to the piggy bank, paying for dinner, movies, cell phone bill, rent, bills etc. This is all supposing, this is my BONAFIDE dude and he's bringing the SAME

So so ambition ?
Ambition, encouragement, drama-free relationship, jokes, great...cooking skillz etc.

What do YOU bring to the life of a real man ?
All that he requires. What makes a REAL man? How do you separate them from the fake ones? WHat they do with their life. I am willing to be that great woman behing this successful man. Whatever it takes. Diff strokes for diff folks, so I can't specify right now.

Are you going to turn him into a "father figure" or "teacher" ?
He wowuld have already been a father figure/role model, before me start talk to him. Me nah tek up nuh scrap talk to :eusa_snoo

or will it be an EQUAL TRADE of qualites, experiences moods and attitudes ?
Totally an equal trade. As I sed earlier I bring/match what he brings. I cannot be my all with a man that's HALF stepping.

Now Twinks, I not pointing to you at all in this last bit because I do not know you so duh ... do not punch out my eye.

A real man needs a real WOMAN not a girl in transition.

There are some young girls I know, mostly in the under 26 - 28 year group that seem to forget that they have to have somethng to bring to the table.

Always mouthing off about "not dealing with a broke but ambitious guy" yet, they themselves are broke and VERY ambitious.

I mentioned this to a young girl once and she said all he need is her juicy pum pum and he will be okay.
I had to let her know that REAL man need a mature second half not a fitted sheet set.
I already know it takes more than that. They are some tight and skilled prostitutes out there, him can get it from them. All my EX's can attest that when I step, I always come correct. Nothing but memorable relationships.

[Gillion]

cooking skillz etc.



Well then .. Iam faxing your application forms right now ... please fill them out in triplicate thank you. No need for pictures ... seen you already ... you kinda young looking but you can pass.



How do you separate them from the fake ones?


Your Dad is the perfect platform to gague them by.



WHat they do with their life

BINGO !



I am willing to be that great woman behing this successful man.


BUUUUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZ

Wrong answer ... no behind ... not infront... how about
BESIDE ?

Just a thought.

[Twinkie]

Y'all women really amuse me with your responses to this kind of topic ... :cool:
Everything ME seh either amuse you tickle you or repulse you...eh :rolleyes: So life go


Why is this?
Can you not achieve and accomplish things for yourself??I already am, however masturbating don't bring children, I would need a MAN for that. You read too narrowly. I need a father for my family.


What about this "Independent Woman" argument? Yuh nuh join dat?
Do finances determine whether someone is a MAN or not?
Why should a MAN as you put it, be with you and help you do anything?
Are you willing to sacrifice in other areas as long as his finances are strong?


I join it, but am smart enough to realise that I still have a need/desire for a MAN. Not one who's gonna be intimidated because I'm smarter than him/make more money than him/climax better than him.

Finances don't determine a man. His attitude, altitude, ambitions, accomplishments and the way he treats ME, determines if he's a MAN

Cause I'm gonna help him too. Is not no one way thing. If he needs my help he's gonna get it, why can't I seek his assistance in return??????

I don't understand the last question.

[Gillion]

So ... BCK ... did I read her right or what hmmmm ?

HHAHAHAHAHAHA

Masturbation don't bring children... ohh that was rich ... lawd... hummm mi belly wooo sweet mi gonna kill meh.

[acidblade]

:dwl: :dwl: Woi Mi Belly :dwl:

[Twinkie]

Nothing pissess of a woman more "sometimes" than to realises she can't have a child because she is broke... or wait for it ... her MAN is broke.

So we see the light yet ?

Bottom line ... BIOLOGY dictates that Women bear our children but the need support.

This comes in the form of "FINANCE"

We do not live in a hunt and gather society anymore it is a "work and earn" society.
YOU, YOU my yute are a REAL genius

:eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap

Standing M.F. Ovation. Hit the nail on the head!!!!!

[Twinkie]

I wish some dudes would say what they're thinking...

[Manu]

Twinkie....based on your speech in this thread..mi rate yu fi that. You seem humble. All you need is a humble man so unu can mesh well. Hats off to you....but still...babes.....since yu nah doogu-doogu till marriage..... you going have to put your finger on the matter? How about a hands-on approach?

[Twinkie]

Twinkie....based on your speech in this thread..mi rate yu fi that. You seem humble. All you need is a humble man so unu can mesh well. Hats off to you....but still...babes.....since yu nah doogu-doogu till marriage..... you going have to put your finger on the matter? How about a hands-on approach?
:eusa_clap :eusa_clap :dwl: :dwl: You hilarious! Absolutely hilarious!!

[bernie]

Twinkie....based on your speech in this thread..mi rate yu fi that. You seem humble. All you need is a humble man so unu can mesh well. Hats off to you....but still...babes.....since yu nah doogu-doogu till marriage..... you going have to put your finger on the matter? How about a hands-on approach?
rude i tell you....mo likkle behavior :dwl:

[BlackCryptoKnight]

Everything ME seh either amuse you tickle you or repulse you...eh :rolleyes: So life go

Hush yah mi dear ...


I already am, however masturbating don't bring children, I would need a MAN for that. You read too narrowly. I need a father for my family.
Fair enough, you want kids. That's a big part of your dream. Cool. With many other women, their dream is predominantly to live lush and lavishly, and the kids are means to that end.




I join it, but am smart enough to realise that I still have a need/desire for a MAN. Not one who's gonna be intimidated because I'm smarter than him/make more money than him/climax better than him.

Finances don't determine a man. His attitude, altitude, ambitions, accomplishments and the way he treats ME, determines if he's a MAN

Cause I'm gonna help him too. Is not no one way thing. If he needs my help he's gonna get it, why can't I seek his assistance in return??????

I don't understand the last question.


With the last question, I'm just asking how importantly to his finances factor into your priorities. Some women stay with a money man even though he treats her badly. She sacrifices her safety, dignity, etc. just because he "provides" for her.

[Twinkie]

They won't be my life buoy. It's really more like a back up plan.Say for instance, like Gillion's friend, I were to lose my job, I would like to have peace of mind, because my man/husband, would have a well paying job or some money saved up for a crisis such as this.

So important in this regard yes, but not so much so that I would allow him to fatten my eye then appease my by fattening my pocket.

Or give me an Altezza so him can have a chick on the side....no no no no

[BlackCryptoKnight]

They won't be my life buoy. It's really more like a back up plan.Say for instance, like Gillion's friend, I were to lose my job, I would like to have peace of mind, because my man/husband, would have a well paying job or some money saved up for a crisis such as this.

So important in this regard yes, but not so much so that I would allow him to fatten my eye then appease my by fattening my pocket.

Or give me an Altezza so him can have a chick on the side....no no no no

I hear you.

...

[Lisa20]

How could I have missed this thread:

2 cents:

I used to be drawn to the "broke but ambitious" men.

Only because when a man have money/car etc, there's another girl out there willing to do anything to take him from you. No competition ting round here

... Not no more

I'm now drawn to the "making it nice with even more ambition"

I need a MAN to ... help me realise my dream. When I'm slacking off, he should be able to motivate me, remind me that WE have something to accomplish together.


I agree 100%:eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap

[acidblade]

How could I have missed this thread:

2 cents:

I used to be drawn to the "broke but ambitious" men.

Only because when a man have money/car etc, there's another girl out there willing to do anything to take him from you. No competition ting round here

... Not no more

I'm now drawn to the "making it nice with even more ambition"

I need a MAN to ... help me realise my dream. When I'm slacking off, he should be able to motivate me, remind me that WE have something to accomplish together.
mouth sweet eeeh.....but as dem say, mouth mek fi say anything.:icon_lol:

[bernie]

How could I have missed this thread:

2 cents:

I used to be drawn to the "broke but ambitious" men.

Only because when a man have money/car etc, there's another girl out there willing to do anything to take him from you. No competition ting round here

... Not no more

I'm now drawn to the "making it nice with even more ambition"

I need a MAN to ... help me realise my dream. When I'm slacking off, he should be able to motivate me, remind me that WE have something to accomplish together.


you sound like my type:icon_mrgr

[acidblade]

you sound like my type:icon_mrgr
my yute a wha yuh deh pon? sorry but mi nuh swing so :icon_twis, wonder if a you A_A did a talk bout a PM him :eusa_thin

[bernie]

my yute a wha yuh deh pon? sorry but mi nuh swing so :icon_twis, wonder if a you A_A did a talk bout a PM him :eusa_thin
sorry bout dat mr blade....it was an honest mistake....
i corrected the above...
**damn...thank god the other didn't get to posting on this one**:eusa_shif

[Twinkie]

mouth sweet eeeh.....but as dem say, mouth mek fi say anything.:icon_lol:
Me nah mek yuh draw me mouth in yah eenuh Mr. Blade. I will refrain...:icon_neut

[Twinkie]

Just a few wise sayings, proven to be true, in some instances.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

[BlackCryptoKnight]

Here's a wise saying, proven to be true in many cases:

"A shine eye gyal is a trouble to a man."

[bernie]

Here's a wise saying, proven to be true in many cases:

"A shine eye gyal is a trouble to a man."
Amen BCK:eusa_clap :eusa_clap
-----------------------

[Juliet]

Just a few wise sayings, proven to be true, in some instances.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

So true, so very very true...

[acidblade]

Here's a wise saying, proven to be true in many cases:

"A shine eye gyal is a trouble to a man."
So true, so very very true...

[Juliet]

So true, so very very true...

Aye acid, stop copyin':icon_excl
So what's a "shine eye gyal"- a girl who likes bling and nice ting?
Also, what does "blertneet" mean?

[Gillion]

Aye acid, stop copyin':icon_excl
So what's a "shine eye gyal"- a girl who likes bling and nice ting?
Also, what does "blertneet" mean?

blertneet is just the safe version of the F word... but you only use it with certain scentencces.

example I can't stand that blertneet gillion doesn't sound right.

however Gillion better blertneet ring my money today or else sounds right

or

BLERNEEET !! look how I just rip a hole in my blertneet jeans new jeans

Ohh ... and a shine eye girl is a gold digger/materliaistic/covetious woman.

[Twinkie]

Also, what does "blertneet" mean?

Since I use it most...

Allow me to explain, it is an euphemism for Holy *****!!

Like expressing utter Excitement..."BLERTNEET, gillion drop pan him batty!"

Try saying that 5 times fast!

[bernie]

Since I use it most...

Allow me to explain, it is an euphemism for Holy *****!!

Like expressing utter Excitement..."BLERTNEET, gillion drop pan him batty!"

Try saying that 5 times fast!
yes my girl your explanation is just right:eusa_clap

[Juliet]

Thank you Gillion and Twinkie for taking the time to explain (especially Gillion) I understand now:)

[Nokia]

hey Juliet can i be your romeo??????????????? :D girls need to continue sing that destiny's child song independent woman and stop thinking about our money

[Juliet]

hey Juliet can i be your romeo??????????????? :D girls need to continue sing that destiny's child song independent woman and stop thinking about our money

No you can't and I totally agree with you. For some men however, its more like "what money?" Some men just aint got none and lokin for a woman to support them; so its definitely a two way street.

[Twinkie]

hey Juliet can i be your romeo???????????????

No you can't.
:dwl: :dwl: :dwl:

My yute, Highly sistren well married. :eusa_naug

[Nokia]

:dwl: :dwl: :dwl:

My yute, Highly sistren well married. :eusa_naug are you married twinkie?

[Twinkie]

are you married twinkie?
Once... in a former life :icon_cry:

[BlackCryptoKnight]

For some men however, its more like "what money?" Some men just aint got none and lokin for a woman to support them; so its definitely a two way street.
It's just a pity that people let material things get in the way of having a sincere beautiful relationship. We let so many things distract us from what we really need... pure unconditional love. :eusa_wall

[Nokia]

Once... in a former life :icon_cry:
so why the long face twinkie:eusa_eh: pm me your contacts and let me see if i can be your romeo :icon_lol:

[Gillion]

so why the long face twinkie:eusa_eh: pm me your contacts and let me see if i can be your romeo :icon_lol:

Careful !

They say that come see me and come live wid me is two diffrent thing.

[Twinkie]

Careful !

They say that come see me and come live wid me is two diffrent thing.
:icon_eek:

Gillion what are you insinuating???

A tru wha him seh yah..:dwl: Yet I was proudly "owned-up" once too :eusa_whis

[acidblade]

:eusa_thin a dat a gwaan in yah

[Juliet]

It's just a pity that people let material things get in the way of having a sincere beautiful relationship. We let so many things distract us from what we really need... pure unconditional love. :eusa_wall

According to the calypsonian- "Cyah make love on ah empty belly"

[BlackCryptoKnight]

According to the calypsonian- "Cyah make love on ah empty belly"
I don't agree with that.

There are quite a few bruk pocket people, who have genuine love in their hearts, and some have been blessed enough to find persons to share that love with. Their life may not be filled with luxury, but they're happier than many millionaires. Their love isn't dependent upon anything material. Because of their love they would pull together and help each other to survive, and in some cases, they do more than that. Because of their love and teamwork, some people are able to build a good life for themselves.

My thing is this: if each individual is to have ambition and develop the ability to take care of themself, then why would any individual need to have as a criteria, that their potential partners be financially well off? Safeguarding against those who would take advantage of them and sponge off them is a different matter. Having as a requirement that your partner must have deep pockets is the real concern.

[Gillion]

I don't agree with that.

There are quite a few bruk pocket people, who have genuine love in their hearts, and some have been blessed enough to find persons to share that love with. Their life may not be filled with luxury, but they're happier than many millionaires. Their love isn't dependent upon anything material. Because of their love they would pull together and help each other to survive, and in some cases, they do more than that. Because of their love and teamwork, some people are able to build a good life for themselves.

My thing is this: if each individual is to have ambition and develop the ability to take care of themself, then why would any individual need to have as a criteria, that their potential partners be financially well off? Safeguarding against those who would take advantage of them and sponge off them is a different matter. Having as a requirement that your partner must have deep pockets is the real concern.

Dude ... never mind ... Continue to live in a dream world.

You think that average people are "enlightened" as you are ?

[BlackCryptoKnight]

Dude ... never mind ... Continue to live in a dream world.
I will. I'm quite happy here in my dream world with my dream wife who loved me long before I had anything ...


You think that average people are "enlightened" as you are ?
There are average people even more "enlightened" than I am, but that's irrelevant.

Is it a bad thing to express the sentiments I expressed? What's wrong with striving for the ideal? Why the "sour grapes" attitude?

[Gillion]

I will. I'm quite happy here in my dream world with my dream wife who loved me long before I had anything ...


There are average people even more "enlightened" than I am, but that's irrelevant.

Is it a bad thing to express the sentiments I expressed? What's wrong with striving for the ideal? Why the "sour grapes" attitude?

You don't show knowledge of the other side of things that is my problem.

Your written tone sends a sublime message that your way and experiences is the best... which I am not going against ... it is perhaps the best.

But you show no balance

You do not know what the hard cold dirt feels like so you write like a spolied little rich boy. To coin a phrase.

You cannot visualise or accept the reason that sommethings in some peoples minds are one way because of how things are.

In otherwordsYOU LACK EMPATHY

[easyskanka]

Dude ... never mind ... Continue to live in a dream world.

You think that average people are "enlightened" as you are ?

Then we/they should at least strive to become more enlightened than we otherwise are. Life is a school and we are it's pupils.

[BlackCryptoKnight]

You don't show knowledge of the other side of things that is my problem.

Your written tone sends a sublime message that your way and experiences is the best... which I am not going against ... it is perhaps the best.

But you show no balance

You do not know what the hard cold dirt feels like so you write like a spolied little rich boy. To coin a phrase.

You cannot visualise or accept the reason that sommethings in some peoples minds are one way because of how things are.

In otherwordsYOU LACK EMPATHY

So what would you have me say?

That it's ok to place primary priority on finances when seeking to enter into relationships? That this approach is guaranteed to lead to true happiness and success? Would that be true and honest?

Should I just accept that "things are the way they are" and not even consider mentioning that they don't have to be that way? Should I just hold ranks and not upset the status quo?

Unfortunately Gil, the reason many people are so disillusioned and despondent over the relationship situation and it's popular materialistic focus, is that they have accepted that what is currently in peoples minds, for whatever reason, is the way it is and there's no hope for change to anything better. They won't even dare to try anymore.

It doesn't have to be that way, and I see nothing wrong with bringing across that viewpoint that it doesn't have to be that way. Where is the value in just regurgitating commentary essentially stating "Ah so di ting setup" ? The purpose of discussion such as this is to understand how things are, examine why they are that way, and hopefully, figure out some way to improve things. You can't improve anything if you don't have a vision of how it should be. Expounding on the "why" is good, but if you stop there, you won't grow.

And by the way G, I write the way I write becauseI know what the cold hard dirt feels like, and because I am empathetic.

Methinks something else is stuck in your craw bro.

[AngelsKiss]

As with everything in life, it all depends on one's experience. Yes it would nice if we all could find nice trustworthy relationships. However, the honest truth is that, it is hard to find a decent honest individual who won't use you, who won't cheat or run off with your bank account.

In fact I personal will not take up a man who has no work and I mean someone who is not actively seeking a job. I will not take up some one who is not educated. By that I don't necessarily mean that he has to have degrees, a trade will do. He just has to be able to take care of himself.

I will also want a prenup and no he will not have access to all my bank accounts.

Am I being selfish? Some people will think so. In my mind I am being practical. Too often I have heard the horror stories. I know from personal experience that I do not need or even want a man to take care of me. Barring illness or something drastic happening, will never be dependent on a man. So why should I allow a man to be dependent on me?

So yes in that sense he had better have finance, even if it is to take care of himself.

[Juliet]

I don't agree with that.

There are quite a few bruk pocket people, who have genuine love in their hearts, and some have been blessed enough to find persons to share that love with. Their life may not be filled with luxury, but they're happier than many millionaires. Their love isn't dependent upon anything material. Because of their love they would pull together and help each other to survive, and in some cases, they do more than that. Because of their love and teamwork, some people are able to build a good life for themselves.

My thing is this: if each individual is to have ambition and develop the ability to take care of themself, then why would any individual need to have as a criteria, that their potential partners be financially well off? Safeguarding against those who would take advantage of them and sponge off them is a different matter. Having as a requirement that your partner must have deep pockets is the real concern.

Get real BCK. Are you telling me that in this day and age, all we need is love to survive. Obviously you have not been to homes where the baby has to go without milk for many months, and the wife is on her fourth child. You havent been to that home where the floor is literally pitch and everybody (and i mean everybody) sleeps in one room. Poverty is hell BCK and no amount of love in this world can put food in your hungry child's belly. When you dont have the money to live above the poverty line it definitely puts a strain on the relationship. Being financially stable is a must these days- anybody would be a fool not to see that.

[BlackCryptoKnight]

Get real BCK. Are you telling me that in this day and age, all we need is love to survive.
I'm saying that finances don't guarantee happiness. I'm saying that happiness can exist despite the absence of material things. I'm saying that if there were more love in the world, that more people would be thriving, not just surviving.


Obviously you have not been to homes where the baby has to go without milk for many months, and the wife is on her fourth child.You havent been to that home where the floor is literally pitch and everybody (and i mean everybody) sleeps in one room.
You assume a lot.

Not everyone who approaches relationships from a meterialistic standpoint is in situations you described. There are people who are just plain greedy who use relationships to feed their materialistic desires.

Whether or not I've been in homes as you've described is irrelevant. It is one thing for a loved one to help another in need, it's another thing entirely to essentially use someone for their money.


Poverty is hell BCK and no amount of love in this world can put food in your hungry child's belly. When you dont have the money to live above the poverty line it definitely puts a strain on the relationship. Being financially stable is a must these days- anybody would be a fool not to see that.

Ok, I'll play along.

Only a fool would not see that if there was more love in the world, people would be more inclined to help oneanother, and would conduct themselves less selfishly. Only a fool would not see that if there was more genuine, true love in the world, that a hungry child would never reach that state, because someone would put food in their belly. Only a fool would not see that relationships face many different kinds of strain. Rich people have strained relationships. Middle class people have strained relationships. More money does not equal less strain. It can actually be the source of more strain. All wealth does is change the nature of the strain, and it's manifestations. Only a fool would not see that the selfish mindset of "look out for me first and dawg nyam anybaddy else suppa" is the source of much of the discontent being faced in todays relationships. People are out for what they can get, and mask selfishness with nice euphamisms (did I get that right Sir Gillion?) and sound bytes.

Let's not confuse the issue here. Poverty is a terrible thing, yes. Poverty does not justify certain behaviour, though we can empathize with those in the situation, and excercise compassion, understanding and forgiveness. But you can't hide behind the poverty argument as the reason for selecting partners based on the size of their bank accounts. It's still not the best way to select a suitable mate. Plenty have done so, and been miserable - because there is no genuine love. It's just a business transaction.

[Bahama Mama]

What's up with this "No romance without finance" mentality that is so popluar today? Do you have to be a big spender to be in a relationship? :eusa_thin


To answer the question posed.

From a personal standpoint, no an individual does not have to be a 'big spender'. Splurging and big spending means very little at the end of the day if the other critical elements of ones character and personality isnt up to par. As well, I dont believe in buying companionship or having my companionship bought.

[Twinkie]

Only a fool ... would conduct themselves less selfishly. Only a fool ...in their belly. Only a fool would not see that relationships face many different kinds of strain. Only a fool ... in todays relationships. People are out for what they can get, and mask selfishness with nice euphamisms (did I get that right Sir Gillion?) and sound bytes.

It's still not the best way to select a suitable mate. Plenty have done so, and been miserable - because there is no genuine love.
BCK, are you calling me a fool? Because me thinks you are. Maybe I am optimistic and unrealistic, for believeing in a few of those things. Someone wise once sed, "there must be practicality in your spirituality"

And the reality is that whatever means are available to persons to elevate themselves from a situation, they will utilize such means. Finding a man who is financially stable, so that you can take care of yourself/your child, is the first step. Getting him to make that decision is the other.

THERE ARE CASES WHERE GENUINE LOVE IS AN END RESULT. Not everyone that enters a relationship for bouyancy, finds love, yet there are a few that do.

[Juliet]

I'm saying that finances don't guarantee happiness. I'm saying that happiness can exist despite the absence of material things. I'm saying that if there were more love in the world, that more people would be thriving, not just surviving.


You assume a lot.

Not everyone who approaches relationships from a meterialistic standpoint is in situations you described. There are people who are just plain greedy who use relationships to feed their materialistic desires.

Whether or not I've been in homes as you've described is irrelevant. It is one thing for a loved one to help another in need, it's another thing entirely to essentially use someone for their money.



Ok, I'll play along.

Only a fool would not see that if there was more love in the world, people would be more inclined to help oneanother, and would conduct themselves less selfishly. Only a fool would not see that if there was more genuine, true love in the world, that a hungry child would never reach that state, because someone would put food in their belly. Only a fool would not see that relationships face many different kinds of strain. Rich people have strained relationships. Middle class people have strained relationships. More money does not equal less strain. It can actually be the source of more strain. All wealth does is change the nature of the strain, and it's manifestations. Only a fool would not see that the selfish mindset of "look out for me first and dawg nyam anybaddy else suppa" is the source of much of the discontent being faced in todays relationships. People are out for what they can get, and mask selfishness with nice euphamisms (did I get that right Sir Gillion?) and sound bytes.

Let's not confuse the issue here. Poverty is a terrible thing, yes. Poverty does not justify certain behaviour, though we can empathize with those in the situation, and excercise compassion, understanding and forgiveness. But you can't hide behind the poverty argument as the reason for selecting partners based on the size of their bank accounts. It's still not the best way to select a suitable mate. Plenty have done so, and been miserable - because there is no genuine love. It's just a business transaction.


Certainly BCK one should not choose a partner based solely on finances. In most cases anyway the other partner doesnt know what the other person has until very close to marriage, after marriage, or at that level in the relationship where those things can be revealed. However, I still believe that it is a fundamental part of being with a mate. I'll share something with you BCK
In my prayers as a younger woman I was very specific about what I wanted in a husband from God, and it did not include a broke man. I have experienced enough to know that is not what I want, nor does God want that for me because I am his child- what father would want that for his daughter? What daughter would want that for herself?
Now when I say broke, I mean completely broke. No job, no money, limited education. If you have anyone one of these you have a chance of making it in this world. God wants good things for me- he isnt blind to the fact that money is necessary for life, and the romance to continue. I believe there is a spirit behind behind broke, and I want no part of it. If I am to bless someone materially fine, but i will not walk into a relationship knowing full well that I can do better. Any self-respecting man, would seek to build himself spiritually and financially before he engages in a serious relationship.

[AngelsKiss]

Any self-respecting man, would seek to build himself spiritually and financially before he engages in a serious relationship.

The same thing applies to women too, any self respecting woman would seek to build herself spiritually and financially before she engages in a serious relationship :)

[Juliet]

The same thing applies to women too, any self respecting woman would seek to build herself spiritually and financially before she engages in a serious relationship :)

True. However I place more emphasis on the man doing this because of my belief that the man is the leader and eventually becomes the head of the household.

[acidblade]

And the reality is that whatever means are available to persons to elevate themselves from a situation, they will utilize such means. Finding a man who is financially stable, so that you can take care of yourself/your child, is the first step.
and if this guy should die what would happen then? the lady will find another Money man to take care of her and her child, or she will then start taking care of herself?

[Twinkie]

and if this guy should die what would happen then? the lady will find another Money man to take care of her and her child, or she will then start taking care of herself?
Hopefully her ambitions would not be limited to having food in her stomach and clothes on her back...but would include "bettering" herself. Courses, school, learning a trade, business, to float herself if something like that were to happen

If this was not her thinking, then whatever she get she deserve because she blasted wutless and careless. Yes me seh it..AND??

[acidblade]

Hopefully her ambitions would not be limited to having food in her stomach and clothes on her back...but would include "bettering" herself. Courses, school, learning a trade, business, to float herself if something like that were to happen
but look when she would want to better herself nuh, when the money pot done, why not better herself before she enter any relationship so that no man can walk all over her? :eusa_whis

[Twinkie]

but look when she would want to better herself nuh, when the money pot done, why not better herself before she enter any relationship so that no man can walk all over her? :eusa_whis
No no son, allow me to edify you! She would be "bettering" herself while she was with the man. Not after!! Were she in a postion to better herself before, shoe wouldn't be looking no money pan. Pay attn!!

There are broke women, with no means to get out of their situation, pride intact, who STILL don't allow men to walk over them!!

So babes, why yuh so peevy bout the matter, me neva chat to you fe yuh money ;)

[acidblade]

So babes, why yuh so peevy bout the matter, me neva chat to you fe yuh money ;)
throw mi corn neva call nuh.......;)

[BlackCryptoKnight]

BCK, are you calling me a fool? Because me thinks you are.
Thankfully, your opinion of me has no impact on my existence and happiness.



And the reality is that whatever means are available to persons to elevate themselves from a situation, they will utilize such means. Finding a man who is financially stable, so that you can take care of yourself/your child, is the first step. Getting him to make that decision is the other.

Does that fact that a particular course of action is possible, or available, mean that it is justified, fair or the right thing to do? Why are other options not pursued with as much vigor as the "catch a man to take care of me" option? Why have children if you can't take care of them?



THERE ARE CASES WHERE GENUINE LOVE IS AN END RESULT. Not everyone that enters a relationship for bouyancy, finds love, yet there are a few that do.

Very rarely, does a relationship founded primarily on materiality, develop into true and genuine love. It's not impossible, but it is highly improbable. True love is unselfish, and requires sacrifice. If you enter into a relationship with a selfish mindset, motivated by what you can get rather than what you can give, you are likely to be less willing to sacrifice. If both partners are of the same mindset in that regard, then what chance is there of true, unselfish love developing between them? It is more likely that their selfishness would spawn more greed, distrust, and discord.

In marriage vows, typically, one of the commitments is "for richer, and for poorer". That means that if your money man loses everything one day, and is flat broke, and somehow, is unable to return to his former glory, if you had commited to him in marriage and agreed to that part about "for richer and for poorer", then you have to stick by him if he is dirt poor. Persons motivated by materialism would not be comfortable with that part. They are the ones likely to leave the person when the money dries up. True love is unconditional, and doesn't stem from selfishness.

People have the sequence mixed up. You shouldn't enter a relationship commitment, and hope to find love. You should have love, and enter into a relationship commitment because of it.

Then they wonder why their relationships fail ... :eusa_wall

[BlackCryptoKnight]

Certainly BCK one should not choose a partner based solely on finances. In most cases anyway the other partner doesnt know what the other person has until very close to marriage, after marriage, or at that level in the relationship where those things can be revealed. However, I still believe that it is a fundamental part of being with a mate. I'll share something with you BCK
In my prayers as a younger woman I was very specific about what I wanted in a husband from God, and it did not include a broke man. I have experienced enough to know that is not what I want, nor does God want that for me because I am his child- what father would want that for his daughter? What daughter would want that for herself?
Now when I say broke, I mean completely broke. No job, no money, limited education. If you have anyone one of these you have a chance of making it in this world. God wants good things for me- he isnt blind to the fact that money is necessary for life, and the romance to continue. I believe there is a spirit behind behind broke, and I want no part of it. If I am to bless someone materially fine, but i will not walk into a relationship knowing full well that I can do better. Any self-respecting man, would seek to build himself spiritually and financially before he engages in a serious relationship.

Everyone has their desires in terms of qualities for a partner. Nothing is wrong with being practical and wanting someone who is stable and has their act together. The problem comes about if there is nothing there holding the relationship together other than material things.

I hear what you are saying Juliet, and I understand the need for stability. Nothing wrong with that. I'll share something with you. In my prayers as a younger man, I was very specific about what I wanted in a wife from God, and my desires did not include anything about finances. I have experienced enough to know money can't solve all problems, nor guarantee true happiness. What God wants for us all is true happiness and though He isn't blind to the fact that survival today without money is difficult, He wants us to not be blind to the fact that He is really all we need to survive, and to thrive.

You say no self-respecting man would seek a woman without financially securing himself. I ask you why should a woman be dependent on a man for financial stability in this day and age of "Independent Women" and "Women's Liberation" ? When the majority of the students at the UWI are female, and have better job prospects after completing their education than their less educated male peers, why should a woman cling to this antiquated notion that financial stability and romantic relationships are inextricably linked?

If you as an individual are capable of taking care of yourself, then why should a relationship with someone else change that? By all means, protect yourself and your investments, and don't allow others to use you, but recognize that your financial stability should not, and doesn't have to depend on your romantic partner.

This argument about "men being the leaders" is quite amusing. Women pull it out when it is convenient, and at other times, it is tucked neatly away and replaced with "I am woman, I am strong, hear me roar, I don't need a man." and yet still at other times, it's "We are equals". In none of these scenarios is a materialistic focus when it comes to relationships justified. Romantically pursuing people for their posessions rather than their character makes a person no different from a prostitute.

[bernie]

True. However I place more emphasis on the man doing this because of my belief that the man is the leader and eventually becomes the head of the household.
its so funny how men are conveniently "the leaders"
both parties should be ambitious and independent....none more than the other

[bernie]

Everyone has their desires in terms of qualities for a partner. Nothing is wrong with being practical and wanting someone who is stable and has their act together. The problem comes about if there is nothing there holding the relationship together other than material things.

I hear what you are saying Juliet, and I understand the need for stability. Nothing wrong with that. I'll share something with you. In my prayers as a younger man, I was very specific about what I wanted in a wife from God, and it my desires did not include anything about finances. I have experienced enough to know money can't solve all problems, nor guarantee true happiness. What God wants for us all is true happiness and though He isn't blind to the fact that survival today without money is difficult, He wants us to not be blind to the fact that He is really all we need to survive, and to thrive.

You say no self-respecting man would seek a woman without financially securing himself. I ask you why should a woman be dependent on a man for financial stability in this day and age of "Independent Women" and "Women's Liberation" ? When the majority of the students at the UWI are female, and have better job prospects after completing their education than their less educated male peers, why should a woman cling to this antiquated notion that financial stability and romantic relationships are inextricably linked?

If you as an individual are capable of taking care of yourself, then why should a relationship with someone else change that? By all means, protect yourself and your investments, and don't allow others to use you, but recognize that your financial stability should not, and doesn't have to depend on your romantic partner.

This argument about "men being the leaders" is quite amusing. Women pull it out when it is convenient, and at other times, it is tucked neatly away and replaced with "I am woman, I am strong, hear me roar, I don't need a man." and yet still at other times, it's "We are equals". In none of these scenarios is a materialistic focus when it comes to relationships justified. Romantically pursuing people for their posessions rather than their character makes a person no different from a prostitute.
i couldn't have said it better. i know you can be a mule sometimes:eusa_shif
but you know just how to put those words nicely together:D

[acidblade]

anybody in here know Freddie McGregor's Love pauper? good song try and get it :D

[Bahama Mama]

Here is my spin:

This day in age, when seeking a serious comitted relationship that can potentially lead to marriage, love quite frankly is never enough to bring to the table. Mind you love is the most necessary and should be the founding element of any marriage relationship. However a marriage needs more than love to survive the external elements, money is a big factor. In fact it is one of the leading causes behind so many divorces and separations (esp. the lack of money). Dont underestimate the power of money in a relationship.

Possessing financial stability removes one element of stress that can potentially end a marriage. I see nothing wrong in someone seeking a mate that is financially stable among other things. It doesnt seem smart to get with someone that is unable to help pay the bills and cant at least be self reliant. In fact both parties should bring some level of financial stability and self reliance to a relationship, becasue balance is key. In this age of equal opportunities for both men and women, there really is no excuse.

Having said that, I agree with BCk. Individuals should not pursue someone or get involved with someone soley for their money and material possessions. Being leeched off is a very undesirable characteristic in a relationship, and in fact cheapens the experience in my opinion.

[AngelsKiss]

This argument about "men being the leaders" is quite amusing. Women pull it out when it is convenient, and at other times, it is tucked neatly away and replaced with "I am woman, I am strong, hear me roar, I don't need a man." and yet still at other times, it's "We are equals". In none of these scenarios is a materialistic focus when it comes to relationships justified. Romantically pursuing people for their posessions rather than their character makes a person no different from a prostitute.

LOL...I was going to post something similar to this, hence my response:


The same thing applies to women too, any self respecting woman would seek to build herself spiritually and financially before she engages in a serious relationship

After that I decided to leave it at that. In any event I agree with you fully on this. I find too often some women use this line when it is convenient to their needs:)

[BlackCryptoKnight]

This day in age, when seeking a serious comitted relationship that can potentially lead to marriage, love quite frankly is never enough to bring to the table. Mind you love is the most necessary and should be the founding element of any marriage relationship. However a marriage needs more than love to survive the external elements, money is a big factor. In fact it is one of the leading causes behind so many divorces and separations (esp. the lack of money). Dont underestimate the power of money in a relationship.

When my wife and I were to get married, the issue of whether the timing was right came up with respect to our financial position etc. When we looked at it, really and truly, the only additional expenses that would be incurred after our marriage (if we didn't have children), was the wedding expenses (one time expenditure) and rent (recurring expenditure). Not insignificant by any means, but still, not a show stopper. Every other bill and expenditure, we already were paying separately as individuals. Getting married would actually make economics a little easier because of the consolidation of bills and expenses. There's no doubt that finances factored into our decision as to when to get married, but it wasn't the determining factor as to whether to get married or not - it actually never factored at all. We loved each other long before any of us started making any money. Money was never a condition for our love. I say all of that to say that the added financial responsibilities of marriage, do not have to be that much more than for single life, as long as children aren't in the picture yet.

When you say that marriage needs more than love to survive, and that it needs money, the implication is that if there is no money, then the marriage ends. That's not necessarily the case, and it shouldn't be. The marriage commitment is supposed to transcend financial status. Many folks don't see it that way today, but the marriage commitment is that serious - "Till death do us part", not "Till the bank account is empty do us part".


Possessing financial stability removes one element of stress that can potentially end a marriage.
I agree with you here.


I see nothing wrong in someone seeking a mate that is financially stable among other things. It doesnt seem smart to get with someone that is unable to help pay the bills and cant at least be self reliant. In fact both parties should bring some level of financial stability and self reliance to a relationship, becasue balance is key. In this age of equal opportunities for both men and women, there really is no excuse.
There's nothing wrong with seeking a mate with who is financially stable among other things as long as what you are attracted to is the quality that makes them stable, and not the fruits of their stability ie. their material wealth. There's a big difference. One is a part of the persons character, the other is external to the person.


Having said that, I agree with BCk. Individuals should not pursue someone or get involved with someone soley for their money and material possessions. Being leeched off is a very undesirable characteristic in a relationship, and in fact cheapens the experience in my opinion.
Here here.

[Juliet]

Everyone has their desires in terms of qualities for a partner. Nothing is wrong with being practical and wanting someone who is stable and has their act together. The problem comes about if there is nothing there holding the relationship together other than material things.

I hear what you are saying Juliet, and I understand the need for stability. Nothing wrong with that. I'll share something with you. In my prayers as a younger man, I was very specific about what I wanted in a wife from God, and it my desires did not include anything about finances. I have experienced enough to know money can't solve all problems, nor guarantee true happiness. What God wants for us all is true happiness and though He isn't blind to the fact that survival today without money is difficult, He wants us to not be blind to the fact that He is really all we need to survive, and to thrive.

You say no self-respecting man would seek a woman without financially securing himself. I ask you why should a woman be dependent on a man for financial stability in this day and age of "Independent Women" and "Women's Liberation" ? When the majority of the students at the UWI are female, and have better job prospects after completing their education than their less educated male peers, why should a woman cling to this antiquated notion that financial stability and romantic relationships are inextricably linked?

If you as an individual are capable of taking care of yourself, then why should a relationship with someone else change that? By all means, protect yourself and your investments, and don't allow others to use you, but recognize that your financial stability should not, and doesn't have to depend on your romantic partner.

This argument about "men being the leaders" is quite amusing. Women pull it out when it is convenient, and at other times, it is tucked neatly away and replaced with "I am woman, I am strong, hear me roar, I don't need a man." and yet still at other times, it's "We are equals". In none of these scenarios is a materialistic focus when it comes to relationships justified. Romantically pursuing people for their posessions rather than their character makes a person no different from a prostitute.

Your statements are very generalized BCK. You find the argument about men being leaders amusing? I thought you were a christian- Christian men shouldnt take that statement lightly at all, I certainly dont.

There are those of uswho like being protected and taken care of; pampered and held; who also like to take care of others; and, get ready for this

we actually obey our husbands!!! (I made a vow to do that)

I guess im just old fashioned. I do agree however that if we seek first God's kingdom and his righteousness, all our desires will be answered (yes BCK even wanting financial stability- nothing is too hard for God)

To each his own

[Manu]

So whats the final concensus?

[BlackCryptoKnight]

Your statements are very generalized BCK. You find the argument about men being leaders amusing? I thought you were a christian- Christian men shouldnt take that statement lightly at all, I certainly dont.

There are those of uswho like being protected and taken care of; pampered and held; who also like to take care of others; and, get ready for this

we actually obey our husbands!!! (I made a vow to do that)

I guess im just old fashioned. I do agree however that if we seek first God's kingdom and his righteousness, all our desires will be answered (yes BCK even wanting financial stability- nothing is too hard for God)

To each his own
I don't take such things lightly at all. I'm just amused at the circumstances under which such arguments tend to be made. Anytime some women want men to protect, take care of, pamper and hold them, they "submit" to paradigm of "the man being the leader and head of the household." At other times, they want "girl power". It's the convenience of the side switching that amuses me. :icon_mrgr

If God wants you to have "financial stability" then He certainly will help you get it. But recognize, that God doesn't always give us everything we want, but He gives us everything we need. ;)

[acidblade]

I don't take such things lightly at all. I'm just amused at the circumstances under which such arguments tend to be made. Anytime some women want men to protect, take care of, pamper and hold them, they "submit" to paradigm of "the man being the leader and head of the household." At other times, they want "girl power". It's the convenience of the side switching that amuses me. :icon_mrgr

If God wants you to have "financial stability" then He certainly will help you get it. But recognize, that God doesn't always give us everything we want, but He gives us everything we need. ;)
:icon_lol: :icon_lol::icon_lol:

[bernie]

its done....seek god first....and you know the rest (i hope)

[Twinkie]

So whats the final concensus?
That there are different strokes for different folks.

[Juliet]

The discussion was nice BCK but at the end of the day financial status is a determining factor in who you date/ choose consciously or unconsciously. Folks just refuse to admit it. Just keepin' it real boss, jus keepin it real

[BlackCryptoKnight]

The discussion was nice BCK but at the end of the day financial status is a determining factor in who you date/ choose consciously or unconsciously. Folks just refuse to admit it. Just keepin' it real boss, jus keepin it real
The question posed wasn't whether financial status was a consideration in selecting a partner. The question posed was:


What's up with this "No romance without finance" mentality that is so popluar today? Do you have to be a big spender to be in a relationship?

We've explored the "What's up with this" part, and we've heard that "No you don't have to be a big spender to be in a relationship."

We've also heard "different strokes for different folks", as well as "money can't buy true love and happiness."

Not everybody is materialistic. Some are some aren't.

[Juliet]

The question posed wasn't whether financial status was a consideration in selecting a partner. The question posed was:



We've explored the "What's up with this" part, and we've heard that "No you don't have to be a big spender to be in a relationship."

We've also heard "different strokes for different folks", as well as "money can't buy true love and happiness."

Not everybody is materialistic. Some are some aren't.

While that may have been question, that is my summary at the end of the day.
If questions were never explored then this forum would be pointless wouldn't it. Issues may arise surrounding or directly to the questions asked hence your irrelevant reference to Women's Lib and equality.
Thanks for the entertainment BCK - Have a blessed night

[Manu]

?????????????? :eusa_thin :eusa_shif

[AngelsKiss]

There's no doubt that finances factored into our decision as to when to get married, but it wasn't the determining factor as to whether to get married or not - it actually never factored at all.

Actually the truth is that finance in many instances is a poor excuse simply because with the exception of the basics such as housing, food, etc. it shouldn't be a problem. The problem lies in the fact that too often we have too many people who wants to live a certain type of life style.

It reminds me of this scripture:

James 4:4 - 6 You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the spirit he caused to live in us envies intensely? But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.

In other words all it requires of us is that we live a simple life focused on God and not worldly pleasures. Unfortunately too many of us get caught up in the world and think that we must live a certain lifestyle to be happy.

[BlackCryptoKnight]

Actually the truth is that finance in many instances is a poor excuse simply because with the exception of the basics such as housing, food, etc. it shouldn't be a problem. The problem lies in the fact that too often we have too many people who wants to live a certain type of life style.

It reminds me of this scripture:

James 4:4 - 6 You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the spirit he caused to live in us envies intensely? But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.

In other words all it requires of us is that we live a simple life focused on God and not worldly pleasures. Unfortunately too many of us get caught up in the world and think that we must live a certain lifestyle to be happy.
Very good points AK. After examining the situation, my wife and I realized that finances shouldn't be a deterrent to us getting married, as long as we lived within our means and didn't change much of how we currently lived. The only real change was that we'd be living together.

So you really don't have to be with a big spender, or be a big spender to make it in a relationship, provided you both are reasonable with your expectations for your lifestyle, and you both are commited to supporting each other.

[Jae]

Talk about living outside of ur means. This guy marry this woman that I know. Swear that she have money, but the truth is she always living 'above her means'. So now they repo' her BMW X5 and her house was going into foreclosure (she 'sold' it to her daughter so she got saved thus). Not to mention her bank acct dry. Wait til him find out the entire ting. But him might just stay cause him want him 'papers'.

[bernie]

Talk about living outside of ur means. This guy marry this woman that I know. Swear that she have money, but the truth is she always living 'above her means'. So now they repo' her BMW X5 and her house was going into foreclosure (she 'sold' it to her daughter so she got saved thus). Not to mention her bank acct dry. Wait til him find out the entire ting. But him might just stay cause him want him 'papers'.
yuh just a watch out the days of them lives suh!!!:icon_mrgr

[Jae]

yuh just a watch out the days of them lives suh!!!:icon_mrgr
Str8 mi a watch fi the dollyhouse come down completely, it start b4 the wedding, so we'll see.

[bernie]

Str8 mi a watch fi the dollyhouse come down completely, it start b4 the wedding, so we'll see.
jae...tell that little satan pan yuh shoulder fi shut up cause it soun like you want di wall fi come down pan di peeps dem life:eusa_whis

[Jae]

jae...tell that little satan pan yuh shoulder fi shut up cause it soun like you want di wall fi come down pan di peeps dem life:eusa_whis
Bernie..:o a nuh me!!! A us' so di ting set up!!! It is inevitable.

[Twinkie]

After examining the situation, my wife and I realized that finances shouldn't be a deterrent to us getting married, as long as we lived within our means and didn't change much of how we currently lived. The only real change was that we'd be living together.
Unoo have this fairy tale love don't it.

"We met, it was love at first sight. He smiled, I blushed. We said a prayer. Fell in love all over again. Combined our salaries and finances, moved in with each other. Fell in love some more. Got Married! And are now living...Happily Ever After!"

[bernie]

Unoo have this fairy tale love don't it.

"We met, it was love at first sight. He smiled, I blushed. We said a prayer. Fell in love all over again. Combined our salaries and finances, moved in with each other. Fell in love some more. Got Married! And are now living...Happily Ever After!"
i happen to believe he is one a those persons that got married for the right reasons...unlike many others that keeps the devorce rate consistent.
i know folks in my church that got married, not rich, not owning even a house
for themselves but loved each other and acheived material stuff later on.

[BlackCryptoKnight]

Unoo have this fairy tale love don't it.

"We met, it was love at first sight. He smiled, I blushed. We said a prayer. Fell in love all over again. Combined our salaries and finances, moved in with each other. Fell in love some more. Got Married! And are now living...Happily Ever After!"

You know, it actually did go something like that, except we never combined salaries or moved in before getting married. :icon_mrgr

We were friends for a long time, and made sure that we knew each other well enough to be comfortable in making a permanent commitment. God was, and still is, the centre of our relationship.

There's a lot cynicism about true love and marriage today, which leads people to settle for less than what God wants for them in their relationships. It's sad that even among Christians, who should know what God wants for them and have faith that He will make it happen, there is a sense of lost hope and disbelief that they can have a genuine loving relationship, built according to God's standards. Yes, it's rough out there, and it seems like the odds are against true unselfish love happening, but nothing is impossible with God. If He could make the universe, He can help you find the right partner.

Don't give up hope Twinkie.

[AngelsKiss]

There's a lot cynicism about true love and marriage today, which leads people to settle for less than what God wants for them in their relationships. It's sad that even among Christians, who should know what God wants for them and have faith that He will make it happen, there is a sense of lost hope and disbelief that they can have a genuine loving relationship, built according to God's standards. Yes, it's rough out there, and it seems like the odds are against true unselfish love happening, but nothing is impossible with God. If He could make the universe, He can help you find the right partner.


I believe that very few relationships started out in the right way to begin with. That is, it started without God being involved in the first place. How many people can truly say that they started their relationship placing God first? How many can say that they took their relationship to God and asked Him to be the driving force in their lives? It's like everything else, we have to place God first and be prepared to accept whatever He decides is best for us.

[easyskanka]

Some really enjoyable stuff just on this page alone,makes a welcome change from some of the bickering elsewhere.All part of the wonderful fabric that is CY.

[Twinkie]

There's a lot cynicism about true love and marriage today, which leads people to settle for less than what God wants for them in their relationships. Don't give up hope Twinkie.
:icon_cry: Thanks BCK, I really was jus about to. :icon_redf