Would you stay in a relationship

[Pondadat]

Would you stay in a relationship after your mate had an affair and then told you? What if the affair produced a child. Man or woman what if she had the affair? What if he had the affair? etc.

[Drew]

if she had an affair, i'll problably give a second chance but no more. first time try, second time practice, and i won't let it reach third time habit.

[Cocoa]

This is a rough question ...I've never been in the situation so I don't know how to react.

But it depends on the relationship. I don't like to give my heart a second time to be bruised again. So I probably won't keep up with no crap.

Like I said, it really, really depends on the person.

[Greatis]

hmmm my ans is NO.

[Drew]

greatis sounds man who doesn't give any room for error.

[Greatis]

hmmm let's say not anymore.

[BlackCryptoKnight]

That's a toughie...
If you're married, it's supposed to be for life. The only things that the Bible says can legitimately terminate a marriage are death, and adultery.

Matthew 5 vs 32 KJV

But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

Now based on that, if your spouse cheats, and you can't accept it, you're free to walk.

It would take a remarkable individual (and family) to forgive someone of that, especially when there are other consequences for the action (a child). I know people who have done so, and their relationship has endured and they still manage to pick up the pieces and be happy again.

There are some situations which I pray the Lord never allows to reach me. That's one of them. Because I honestly don't even want to contemplate how I'd react. I don't know what I would do.

[TRUBBLE]

IF me really loved him...den yes mi would still stay with him...but mi would be watching him closely tho!!!

[Drew]

IF me really loved him...den yes mi would still stay with him...but mi would be watching him closely tho!!!thats true, the amount of trust and space to breath would greatly decline for me.

[Greatis]

if trust declines what's the sense in continuing the relationship.

[Bashment Girl]

Would you stay in a relationship after your mate had an affair and then told you? What if the affair produced a child. Man or woman what if she had the affair? What if he had the affair? etc.

It's hard to say until you're actually IN the situation however.... I'm not really cool with sharing man... as a matter of fact I am strongly opposed to it (to put it diplomatically :icon_mrgr ) any how.. I would leave the situation. Whether the affair produced a love child or NOT.. I'm gone. Wish them all the best, and hit the door. Cheating is a form or betrayl, and a violation of my trust... if I choose to stay around the relationship would be miserable and we'd end up splitting anyway. :cool:

[Drew]

it might build back up greatis, but like bashie said, its just talk until ur in the situation.

[Xenocrates]

With AIDS and ting going around? Which smart person would want to stick around for that BS?

There are 6.1 billion people in the world.
2.7 billion of them speak some form of english.
1.4 billion of them have a good probability of being in the 21 - 30 age group
Roughly 400 million of them live in a culturally acceptable domain
Give or take a few thousand, that leaves the average joe/jane with rough 200+ million people to choose from based on compatibility

(Source: Transparency International Global Demographics, 2003)

So why O why would anyone want to continue the friendship? Trust is supposed to be a permanent thing. Once broken, it will never be renewed to the same place it was before. This is not even a question worth asking.

Yes you can always forgive them. But making the same mistake twice may cost you more than just another broken heart.

He who is faithful in little, will be faithful in much.

...pondadat

[Greatis]

wise words Xeno hehe my thoughts exactly.

[Bashment Girl]

X I agree with you but when you're there, there's more to it than that. We all know about STI's we all know there are also plenty of fish in the sea if one betray's us... but it's not always that cut and dry. Especially for women. I watch a lot of women take it over and over again. I mean if I'm ever put through THAT specifically... I'll post the official BASHY word lol.. but I don't know that it's that cut and dry for people :cool:

[Xenocrates]

ur right. Women usually have a tough time making sensible decisions when emotions become involved. Actually, come to think of it, emotions are always involved. But I hate it when some guys I know take advantage of that situation. They ASSUME that no matter how bad he treats her, she will always come running back to her, because she's not capable of being cut 'n dry. Even this hardcore chick I knew personally had the same problem. Women have trouble letting go, even if it is to save their life.

I guess there's a thin line between love and madness. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v102/Xenocrates/Smilies/foolish.gif

[Gillion]

maybe di sex was good xeno... hmmmm ? yuh never know :D

[Drew]

LMAO, i just love the posts in this forum.

[Xenocrates]

Perhaps G. Perhaps. I seen women hang on to a man who beats the snot out of them. Funny thing is they never complain about the sex. So I guess that must be it.

[Gillion]

ahhhhhh you have become enlightened .... now.... the final test... snatch the pebble from my hand !

[Bashment Girl]

maybe di sex was good xeno... hmmmm ? yuh never know :D

tee hee hee yes that can be the culprit to a lot of bad decisions...lol... :rolleyes:

Mostly though... it is the lack of ability to seperate heart from brain. You know you should walk but, when you love someone it's difficult to accept the bad... so you always keep your heart on top and hope things will get better.... then there's what I reffer to as "The WAKE UP CALL" lol

X.. you're right about that for sure.. a lot of guys use this as a way to continually hurt someone. It's not really fair, but a man will only carry on with what you let him get away with;)

[Xenocrates]

Hai, Gillion-sama, http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v102/Xenocrates/Smilies/jap.gif

*chakra seals*

Jūken no jutsu!!!

*wooosh*

*holds up pebble to master gillion*

koko wa koishi desu, gillion-sama http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v102/Xenocrates/Smilies/jap.gif

[Drew]

too much naruto guys.

[BlackCryptoKnight]

Hai, Gillion-sama, http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v102/Xenocrates/Smilies/jap.gif

*chakra seals*

Jūken no jutsu!!!

*wooosh*

*holds up pebble to master gillion*

koko wa koishi desu, gillion-sama

Pebble no hit back.

[Gillion]

i don't watch naruto... I learning japanese on mi own so I dun know what xeno say... allbe it in BAD GRAMMAR

[Xenocrates]

Xeno thinks master need to brush up on nihongo. :)

--- and we are terribly off topic...again... common assault on CY :rolleyes:

[BlackCryptoKnight]

This topic is a serious one. When I think about marriage and what it is supposed to represent (from a Christian perspective), one of the things it symbolizes is the love that God has for us. He makes a commitment to us, and we to Him. In our relationship with Him, there are times when we betray Him and sin. Yet if we repent He forgives us. When we place greater value on other things than Him, it's like cheating on Him. Yet if we repent, He forgives us because He said He would.

Back to marriage... if a spouse cheats, and one is to follow God's example, forgiveness would be the in order once the cheating spouse is sincerely repentant. But bwoy... it nuh easy at all. With God's help anything is possible. So one can forgive and move on to be happy. But bwoy...it nuh easy at all.

:eusa_pray

[Gillion]

* gillion wonders about the buhddist perspective *

[Xenocrates]

But unlike Humans, God can't catch AIDS from the unfaithful.

It's no longer a matter of whether or not you have the heart to forgive. There are practical matters at stake here. If my wife cheats, the only way I stay involved is if there are kids involved. Even then, I would not sleep with her again, nor trust her. Ever. End of story. No questions asked. Full-stop.

It's just no longer an option on the entree.

I not into the shareware ting where women are concerned. Forgive them? Yes. But no marriage. I love my life and my health more than any woman, and I think any self-respecting woman should think the same thing of their man of choice. I'm sorry, but it's that simple for me. There is a thin line between love and madness. It doesn't matter how much you say you love somebody. Failure to exercise sensibility crosses the line and enters the state of "inordinate affection".

One of the fundamental purposes of marriage, is to sanctify yourself from the world with one partner. That's why people wait until they're married to engage in sexual activity. If you ignore one of the fundamental premises of marriage in the first place - you defeat the very purpose of marriage. If you're going to engage in extramarital sex like that, then there's no point in being married in the first place.

I don't care how much one wants to be like Jesus. The very thought is asinine and impractical, if not downright suicidal.

[Gillion]

oooooooo sombody got heated

[Xenocrates]

Heated? No yute. Aren't I always opinionated? Have you forgotten who I am? Hmm? :)

[Gillion]

yes.... :D

[BlackCryptoKnight]

As I've said before X, biblically speaking, if your partner cheats, you're free terminate the marriage. The AIDS thing is a real concern for sure. It would take a very strong person to forgive, and continue the relationship as it was before. That person would also have to be very careful about the practicalities as you have outlined them. I've known people who have been in that situation and are still together without any problems. All bad behaviour ceased, everything back to normal, no AIDS in the picture (fortunately).

Definitely not something to take lightly.

[Cocoa]

Fi real I know alot of people like that and they still roughing it out. Too much hurt, pain, hurt and pain involved. It would be so hard to let things retun back to normal. Once bitten, twice shy.

[Xenocrates]

yes.... :D

- LOL :icon_mrgr You a funny dude G. ;)

[Gillion]

man I so hungry right now if my girl give me bun I nyam dat wid a piece of cheese and ask for seconds ..... fooooddddd

[BlackCryptoKnight]

man I so hungry right now if my girl give me bun I nyam dat wid a piece of cheese and ask for seconds ..... fooooddddd


:icon_mrgr

[Greatis]

man I so hungry right now if my girl give me bun I nyam dat wid a piece of cheese and ask for seconds ..... fooooddddd

you better not you may just get the bakery :icon_lol:

[Gillion]

bredda I hungry I don't care what she do right now... for example.... if she seh she pregnant fi mi I seh GREAT when can I eat the child !!!

[Bashment Girl]

bredda I hungry I don't care what she do right now... for example.... if she seh she pregnant fi mi I seh GREAT when can I eat the child !!!

lol lol lol oh my goodness lol :rolleyes:

[Cocoa]

bredda I hungry I don't care what she do right now... for example.... if she seh she pregnant fi mi I seh GREAT when can I eat the child !!!
:icon_mrgr :icon_mrgr *JCB lays hands on Gillion and begins to pray*

[Gillion]

dem hands of your smell nice....

*Gillion ponders some finger sandwiches*