Things you'd love to say OUT LOUD at work...

[Cocoa]

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full ___
> 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
> 3. How about never? Is never good for you?
> 4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in
public.
> 5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my
way.
> 6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
> 7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
> 8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
> 9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
> 10. Ahhh...I see the mess-up fairy has visited us again...
> 11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
> 12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
> 13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't care.
> 14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
> 15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
> 16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of
view.
> 17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
> 18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
> 19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
> 20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
> 21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
> 22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
> 23. And your cry-baby opinion would be...?
> 24. Do I look like a people person?
> 25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
> 26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
> 27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
> 28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
> 29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
> 30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
> 31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
> 32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
> 33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
> 34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
> 35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
> 36. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
> 37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
> 38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.

39. Could you pay me any lesser?! :rolleyes:

[Drew]

this is funny. i need to tell my co-workers a few of these. thanks cocoa. i love #37

[Greatis]

You know it's funny I really would like to say some of those phrases.

[Drew]

i'm with you on that greatis. try it out and tell me if you got the pink slip so i'll know how to proceed. :icon_mrgr

[Greatis]

i'm with you on that greatis. try it out and tell me if you got the pink slip so i'll know how to proceed. :icon_mrgr

This you must think I am an ediot. :eusa_thin

[Drew]

no greatis, done kno seh me and u a bretren. :icon_mrgr

[Cocoa]

I would also love to say to my Supervisor... "do you have to always put me on the night shift? I got a life too you know!"

I already did but just a little tactful.

[Drew]

i feel ur pain cocoa. i'm always getting the weekend shifts. i complained but it helped a little.

[AngelsKiss]

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sh*t.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.

10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.

11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?

24. Do I look like a people person?

25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door..

33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

36. Chaos, panic, & disorder-my work here is done.

37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.

39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

40. Oh I get it... like humor... but different

[Drew]

a post already has been made with this joke. however # 39 and 40 are different and # 40 is a great addition. just love the sarcasm in that one. here is the link. (http://www.caribyard.com/forums/showthread.php?t=375)