Capitalism for Dummies

[Greatis]

Traditional Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
American Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

French Capitalism: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

Japanese Capitalism: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

German Capitalism: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

Italian Capitalism: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

British Capitalism: You have two cows. Both are mad.

Russian Capitalism: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

Arkansas Capitalism: You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute...

Hindu Capitalism: You have two cows. You worship them.

Swiss Capitalism: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

Canadian Capitalism: You have two cows. Let’s make a hockey team, eh?

Chinese Capitalism: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

Irish Capitalism: You have two cows. You feed them potatoes and wonder why they emigrate.

Israeli Capitalism: So, there are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?

Cuban Capitalism: You have two cows. They try to swim to Florida.

Iraqi Capitalism: You have two cows. They are biochemical weapons.

[Xenocrates]

This one is a classic. There's an updated version floating around on the net. You'll probably get it in your e-mail soon. Failing which, I took the liberty to add the changes here:

Haitian Capitalism: You have two cows. No wait, that's one cow. No wait... never mind.

Jamaican Capitalism: You import two cows. You import a bull to impregnate them, but you realise that the bull is a blind sterile. So you import two calves, who turn out to be two bulls. By the time the two calves are mature, you have to kill the two cows to eat so you don't starve to death. You realise the calves are from Britain and are mad. You shoot them, but only after you've imported two more cows...(repeat)

Trinidadian Capitalism: You have two cows. You dress them up in costumes and immediately proceed to Bacchanal in the streets.

Columbian Capitalism: You have two cows. You stuff them with cocaine, and export them for 400 times the cost of what you grew them for.

Palestinian Capitalism: You have two cows. You strap them up with C4 and send them across the Israeli border.

Mexican Capitalism: You steal two cows from farms in Texas, head south of the border, chop up and season them and then open up a stakehouse in Texas, selling the stake for $50 a plate.

Crenshaw Capitalism: You have two cows. You blink, and suddenly, you had two cows.

Brazilian Capitalism: You have two cows. You use them to groom and fertilize your football field.

Nigerian Capitalism: You have two cows. You get an e-mail from them that they are rich princes who need to stash their dough someplace safely and that you could get a cut out of it. All you need to do is submit your back account number.

Taiwanese Capitalism: You export a million cows that are twice as cheap, 4 times as useful, but live half as long, have 30 days warranty with milk that spoils in 2 seconds.

Eskimo Capitalism: You buy two cows from Taiwan. You milk them, wait 30 seconds, and sell the frozen yogurt.

Australian Capitalism: You have two cows! Croikey!

[Dev]

HAHAH, this be some funny shiznits, HAHAHA

[Greatis]

the haitian one hard Xeno

[Brownsugar]

Trinidadian Capitalism: You have two cows. You dress them up in costumes and immediately proceed to Bacchanal in the streets.

Mexican Capitalism: You steal two cows from farms in Texas, head south of the border, chop up and season them and then open up a stakehouse in Texas, selling the stake for $50 a plate.

Crenshaw Capitalism: You have two cows. You blink, and suddenly, you had two cows.

Nigerian Capitalism: You have two cows. You get an e-mail from them that they are rich princes who need to stash their dough someplace safely and that you could get a cut out of it. All you need to do is submit your back account number.:dwl::dwl::dwl: