Why do people date a married man or woman

[Kitten]

Why do people date a married man or woman who is already in a relationship?
Why do they get involved in this type of relationship?

[MiTcHiE]

Thats easy Kitten. Take *me for example, I might not want a serious relationship right now so I seek out a relationship with little or no baggage. Meaning I seek out someone who has a guy or is married. aka Joe Grine relationship. This has many advantages. Sex is good, no wifey problems, freedom to roam etc etc Secondly most guys dont really care if the girl has a man or what. Most guys are just interested in sex. They dont care about a relationship per say.

For a woman now it can be entirely different. A woman will generally not seek out a guy that is married or with someone purposely but after finding out they might still get involved in the relationship, for the hopes of a future I guess. I am a guy so I cant really tell u y a woman does it.


*Just an example, not about me personally

[Cocoa]

They do these things for varies reasons:
-because they are selfish (not thinking about his wife, kids and her self) Having thementality of "what's in this for ME ME ME".

- because she doesn't want a committed relationship. So she carry on this lifestyle getting whatever she wants out of it not answering to no one when she gets home.

I will flip this around and ask...why do married men lie about thier 'singleness' to a woman and then later on, tells the woman that he is married after getting all he wanted?

[MiTcHiE]

Because he sees summen he wants so he lies to get it, after that then there isnt any reason to lie anymore. Him Belly full so to speak.

[Cocoa]

People don't take the vows seriously anymore. {another reason for this married man/woman deception}

[Xenocrates]

...I am a guy so I cant really tell u y a woman does it.

- I'm surprised you don't know. There are two major reasons for this. Let me enlighten you:

1.

Women will not gravitate towards a man who is not already swamped in female company. So the more females you have as 'friends' (and I do mean PLATONIC friends), the more females you are likely to attract. For every girl you have as a friend, at least two more girls will think your company is worthwhile. The rationale is that when other females see a guy with female company, she assumes (albeit, blindly and irrationally) that: "...if those other girls feel comfortable with him, then he should be an ok guy to hang out with myself." So she joins your entourage like a mindless pawn. Furthermore, since she thinks that none of them are your girlfriend, then you are fair game, for ALL of them, even if you are not aware of it - even more reason to try to enumerate herself among your female company. This can be a VERY bad thing.

If you DO have a girlfriend and she is of a multicultural ethnicity (read: browning/indian/etc.) you become an even more delicious target. Because the rationale is now: "If a girl like her can find you attractive, then there must be something valuable about you that I must also have...". This backward thinking rationale is borne out of the observing woman's inferiority complex. Inferiority Complex is the number 1 psychological disorder affecting black women's self esteem in Jamaica - especially with respect to other females of a multicultural ethnicity. They believe that a fair-skinned female must have a higher taste in men by default of her ethnicity and so if she actually is seen clinging to a black man, he must be radically different from other black men she's met. I know, it's backward, but it's true. As a result, that man becomes her target. The fire is also fuelled by the fact that these women perceive the multicultural females as a "threat to their sexuality, since they're [supposedly] scooping up all the good black men left in the land...".

Believe me, 3 girls on different occasions have actually said this to me. :icon_eek:

2.

In reference to no: 1 above, if a man is married, the target becomes even sweeter. Because a married man is supposed to be taboo. Now if he shows even a remote amount of interest in her, she WILL milk it for what it is worth, ESPECIALLY if he is married. A married man (especially lecturers @ universities) will sexually turn on a younger girl because he is something she cannot have - worse if he is a genuinely attractive guy. This is made even worse if he pretends not to notice her (remember what I told you about women and their insidious weakness for mystery?). Unmarried lecturers don't usually get this kind of attention!

As such, a married lecturer will have girls in their class with some seriously unclothed middle parts. She WANTS him to notice. But like the women who are lied to by unscrupulous men, these married men are nothing but trophies for her. Once she gets satisfaction from him, he means nothing to her afterwards - and she couldn't care less about his marriage. The thrill of the hunt is what drives these females. After she makes a kill, the game has lost its savour. Most of the time, it's the female that ends these relationships. When it's the male that offers to end it (and she's not satisfied) she uses blackmail to keep him in line.

This is one of the reasons why I say that women are some of the most proficient and devious liars I have ever seen. Women can hide their lies with false emotion - and believe me, it's REALLY hard to tell. Women can CRY on cue if necessary to indicate sorrow or dispair (When there really is none). But guys can't pull off a stunt like that. We were not made as emotional creatures. That's why women of this sort are especially dangerous - those young college girls. One lecturer I know has his marriage in a mess right now because of one of these girls. It's really sad when things like this happen.

[Cocoa]

Well it takes two to tango so if the Professor want to have his marriage messed up, that is his fault too.

[MiTcHiE]

Xeno I know about ur first point because I have used it to my advantage many times but I didnt tie it into the aspect of them wanting u because u have a girl or married.

[Nastro]

I just think Dem plain RED EYE. Want what other people have.

[Drew]

I just think Dem plain RED EYE. Want what other people have. true dat.

[Drew]

Women can hide their lies with false emotion - and believe me, it's REALLY hard to tell. Women can CRY on cue if necessary to indicate sorrow or dispair (When there really is none). that just sucks doesn't it. :icon_evil

so xeno, i hope you're coming up with an idea of how to work around this problem. :eusa_thin

[Xenocrates]

Simple: Avoid drama queens.

[BlackCryptoKnight]

To some women, taking a married man from his wife gives them a feeling of power and importance. I guess it helps boost their self esteem. Also, there can be economic reasons for getting involved with a married person. Some people perceive them as being well off since they are taking care of a family. They figure that they could provide for them too.

[Drew]

Simple: Avoid drama queens.L M A O. :D

[Drew]

To some women, taking a married man from his wife gives them a feeling of power and importance. I guess it helps boost their self esteem. Also, there can be economic reasons for getting involved with a married person. Some people perceive them as being well off since they are taking care of a family. They figure that they could provide for them too.some people just waah to much. can't see a next person happy and glad fi dem. cho, how wi tan so bad.

[BlackCryptoKnight]

The situation is especially sad considering the widespread incidents of HIV/AIDS infections. Many times infidelity brings these infections into the home. Then there are the extra-marital pregnancies bringing forth children out of the adulterous relationship. These kids have an unfair experience because of the parent's indescretions.

Really sad. :(

[Lisa20]

People don't take the vows seriously anymore. {another reason for this married man/woman deception}

I totally agree with you.

[Drew]

a house is alot more valuable on the market when someone is living there.

[Cocoa]

a house is alot more valuable on the market when someone is living there. :eusa_thin :eusa_thin .......

[Twinkie]

Why do people date a married man or woman who is already in a relationship?
Why do they get involved in this type of relationship?


I just think Dem plain RED EYE. Want what other people have.True True...It really is as simple as this.

Plain Envy and greed.

"If she marry him, summen a gwaan fe him; And me wah fe indulge." Selfishness here.

But there are unselfish ones. These are the ones, who allow you to keep your wife and your kids, only requesting your dingaling on alternate nights. No drama, no commitment, no demands, no ties, no strings, just pure and simple penetration.

Next are the ones who get a thrill knowing they can get away with it and the "chupid wifey" nuh know nuh better. She getting chauffered in hubby's X5 and wifey at home nursing the kids thinking Hubby at work when hubby really at Back Road.

Lastly are the ones who jes nuh know nuh better. Hubby lie seh him single, him and wifey separated. Then when she does findout the truth, she's dikly whupped and believes the lies that he will leave his WIFE for her :dwl: :dwl: Chupid and naive.

[homey]

What if both are married, does this change the playing field? Does this not get more complicated? What could some of the reasons for continuing in this type of relationship be?

[Code Dre]

The rush that it gives and most times it consists mainly of quickies and those have great adrenalinhe rush. The pleasure plus the fear of being caught.

[Twinkie]

The main reason this could continue is the simple benefit of no commitment. He can't demand certain things of her because he is married [not to her] and she can't make any crazier demands of him because he is not hers to boss around.

It just simply works.

[homey]

The main reason this could continue is the simple benefit of no commitment. He can't demand certain things of her because he is married [not to her] and she can't make any crazier demands of him because he is not hers to boss around.

It just simply works.




Twinkie,
I understand the benefit of no commitment. Do you think the longer they stay in a relationship the more expectations there will be regardless of the outside influences? What happens if one of them wants more out of the relationship? Is this when it gets complicated?

[Twinkie]

Oh, it's complicated from the jump, but once feelings get involved, the plot definitely thickens. You see, once you know your alliance and commitment lies elsewhere it is easier for you to kinda ignore your sex party when they begin to b!tch and whine.

But if you're the one falling, you will desire the devotion normally reserved for the Husband or the Wife. You begin to feel left out and uncared for so you begin to b!tch and whine. And what does it get you?? Jack Shift! Nada! Not a rass ting but heartache and disappointment.

[homey]

Oh, it's complicated from the jump, but once feelings get involved, the plot definitely thickens. You see, once you know your alliance and commitment lies elsewhere it is easier for you to kinda ignore your sex party when they begin to b!tch and whine.



Twinkie,

But what if it is not a relationship that is based on sex. Can't two people just be committed to each other?

[Code Dre]

I personally cannot see how cheating spreads stds. Once you use protection, you are good to go not that I am promoting it.

[bernie]

I personally cannot see how cheating spreads stds. Once you use protection, you are good to go not that I am promoting it.

Such a blind you are...:rolleyes:

[Bahama Mama]

Let every man and woman get their own spouse, and be concerned with maintaining that which they have.

[Bahama Mama]

I personally cannot see how cheating spreads stds. Once you use protection, you are good to go not that I am promoting it.

Code, condoms are not 100% safe. They break and they can leave the manufacturer defective with pores big enough for the HIV virus to pass through and infect someone.

[Twinkie]

Twinkie,

But what if it is not a relationship that is based on sex. Can't two people just be committed to each other?



The original commitment/marriage takes priority. I do believe that there are rare occassions where we marry the wrong persons and end up finding our soul mates, in another married person, way after the fact. But the step at that point is dual divorce and then re-marriage. Cheating is uneffective. You're not getting what it is you truly want, which is the person. And in that case why bother pursuing/continuing the foolishness.


I personally cannot see how cheating spreads stds. Once you use protection, you are good to go not that I am promoting it.
Son, you're young aren't you??? :eusa_snoo :eusa_whis