jamerican
May 4, 2007, 08:48 AM
Fortunately all our buses don't run like this one.
Enjoy!
Ever wonder what it would be like if Jamaican buses were set up
like
airlines, with the flight attendant and captain giving safety
Instructions?
Bus driver: (speaking on the intercom): Welcome to Bus numba farty
running from Papine to Down Town Kingston. Please direct yuh attention
to di ConDocta who will instruc' yuh on our safety and model features.
ConDocta: Hail up massive! We want yuh fi know dat yuh a ride pon di
safes' bus dat run pon di Papine to Downtown route. The moggle of our
bus is a 1980 Encava, own and operate by Rough Rider Transports.
Dis moggle can survive any adversities an' cantravasies.
As unnu can si, dis bus
get nuff lick up an' bad man shot it up nuff
time an' it still a drive like new! This bus seat up to 55 passenger;
howeva, due to fi we commitment to excellent service, we no leave
anybady straddling ina di streets. So expect to 'ave up to 140 people
in
yah by
di time we reach downtown. Durin' di journey we may encounta unexpected
turbulences.......... dese are known as pot holes. In di case of a
sudden bump please refrain fram bawlin'out "Lard Jesus mi dead now!"
Our
driva is an experience driva
an' will mek sure di axle an' wheel noh bruck aff ina one a dem.
But in case we drap inna one an ca'an come out. Please do not climb
troo
di window dem til unnu pay unnu bus fare.......or I will shat unnu rass
wid mi M16.
Dis bus no equip wid seat belt. Please hole on pon di railin' when di
bus a tun di carna dem.
De bus is capable of drivin' pon 2 wheels ' roun' all
carnas an' bends.
When di bus a tun a wicked carna pon 2 wheels, wi ask dat seated
passengers bear it if
sumbaddi slide dung inna dem seat an' squash yuh gainst di bus side.
We seated passengers may experience standin' passengers losin' dem
balance an' falling ova pon unnu ... please no yell out, "ey batty
bway,
coom aff a mi lap!" Dat might cause a serious shoot out!
On exiting de bus please don' expect di bus to come to a full stop. Wi
askin' dat yuh hop aff a di bus an' step skillfull ..... if unnu drap
an
lan' pon unnu backside an' bruck suting, Rough Rider noh responsible.
Dis is NOT a non-stop journey. As a matta a fact wi stop any which part
wi waan fi stop, at every yaad gate - all ina miggle a di road wi stop.
Howeva dis bus noh stop fi police ... in case of an unexpected police
chase, the driva will be forced to increase de bus' normal speed
from 100 mph to 160 mph.
Yuh will be instructed to hole on tight an shet unnu mout. In case dis
bus is hijacked by a teroris' known as "Pickpocket", hole di theif an'
murda 'im rass. Dat said, if wi reach downtown inna wan piece please
prepare fi new passenger fi shub unnu dung before unnu can get
aff.
Noh mine dem ...... seat kina ration. Tank yuh for tekin' di Iriest
Rough Rider Encava pon di route.... and hope yuh enjoy di ride.
DRIVA - PRESS OUT!
Kool Nuh Man! Don't Say Nutten!!
Enjoy!
Ever wonder what it would be like if Jamaican buses were set up
like
airlines, with the flight attendant and captain giving safety
Instructions?
Bus driver: (speaking on the intercom): Welcome to Bus numba farty
running from Papine to Down Town Kingston. Please direct yuh attention
to di ConDocta who will instruc' yuh on our safety and model features.
ConDocta: Hail up massive! We want yuh fi know dat yuh a ride pon di
safes' bus dat run pon di Papine to Downtown route. The moggle of our
bus is a 1980 Encava, own and operate by Rough Rider Transports.
Dis moggle can survive any adversities an' cantravasies.
As unnu can si, dis bus
get nuff lick up an' bad man shot it up nuff
time an' it still a drive like new! This bus seat up to 55 passenger;
howeva, due to fi we commitment to excellent service, we no leave
anybady straddling ina di streets. So expect to 'ave up to 140 people
in
yah by
di time we reach downtown. Durin' di journey we may encounta unexpected
turbulences.......... dese are known as pot holes. In di case of a
sudden bump please refrain fram bawlin'out "Lard Jesus mi dead now!"
Our
driva is an experience driva
an' will mek sure di axle an' wheel noh bruck aff ina one a dem.
But in case we drap inna one an ca'an come out. Please do not climb
troo
di window dem til unnu pay unnu bus fare.......or I will shat unnu rass
wid mi M16.
Dis bus no equip wid seat belt. Please hole on pon di railin' when di
bus a tun di carna dem.
De bus is capable of drivin' pon 2 wheels ' roun' all
carnas an' bends.
When di bus a tun a wicked carna pon 2 wheels, wi ask dat seated
passengers bear it if
sumbaddi slide dung inna dem seat an' squash yuh gainst di bus side.
We seated passengers may experience standin' passengers losin' dem
balance an' falling ova pon unnu ... please no yell out, "ey batty
bway,
coom aff a mi lap!" Dat might cause a serious shoot out!
On exiting de bus please don' expect di bus to come to a full stop. Wi
askin' dat yuh hop aff a di bus an' step skillfull ..... if unnu drap
an
lan' pon unnu backside an' bruck suting, Rough Rider noh responsible.
Dis is NOT a non-stop journey. As a matta a fact wi stop any which part
wi waan fi stop, at every yaad gate - all ina miggle a di road wi stop.
Howeva dis bus noh stop fi police ... in case of an unexpected police
chase, the driva will be forced to increase de bus' normal speed
from 100 mph to 160 mph.
Yuh will be instructed to hole on tight an shet unnu mout. In case dis
bus is hijacked by a teroris' known as "Pickpocket", hole di theif an'
murda 'im rass. Dat said, if wi reach downtown inna wan piece please
prepare fi new passenger fi shub unnu dung before unnu can get
aff.
Noh mine dem ...... seat kina ration. Tank yuh for tekin' di Iriest
Rough Rider Encava pon di route.... and hope yuh enjoy di ride.
DRIVA - PRESS OUT!
Kool Nuh Man! Don't Say Nutten!!