jamerican
June 17, 2007, 07:41 PM
In a recent trial, a Falmouth small town prosecuting attorney called to
the witness stand his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman named
Miss Ivy.
The attorney approached her and asked, "Miss Ivy, do you know me?" She
responded, "Why, yes of course me know you! Mr. Williams. Me know you
since you was a likkle pissing tail pickney, and wata big disappointment
you is to you family. You is a ole liard, you cheat pan yuh wife, yuh
chat
people bizniz, and yuh red-eye, grudgeful and licky-licky. You tink you is
a big shot now but you no realize seh you will never amoun to nuttin more
dan a two-bit paper pusher! Yes, me know yuh very well alright!!"
The Lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the
room and asked, "Miss Ivy, do you know the defense attorney?" She looked
over at the defense attorney and replied, "Of course, me know Mr. Bradley
since him was a likkle bwoy too. Him lazy, and good-fe-nothing, him boasy,
and him always a gwaan like him white. Him caan build nuh normal
relationship with any woman 'cause him a Battyman unda covah. Fe him law
practice a di worse eena Jamaica .. Him chat nuff, him a ole teef, him
dutty and nasty. A three different woman an four man me hear seh him a
grind undah covah, an one a di woman dem a you missis (points at a
juror
memeber)!! Yes sah, me know him well." The defense attorney almost died of
embarrassment.
The judge ordered both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very
quiet voice, said, "If either of you blood clath lawyer ask her if she
knows me, a gwine lock up oonu ****ing bombo clath eena jail fe contempt!."
the witness stand his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman named
Miss Ivy.
The attorney approached her and asked, "Miss Ivy, do you know me?" She
responded, "Why, yes of course me know you! Mr. Williams. Me know you
since you was a likkle pissing tail pickney, and wata big disappointment
you is to you family. You is a ole liard, you cheat pan yuh wife, yuh
chat
people bizniz, and yuh red-eye, grudgeful and licky-licky. You tink you is
a big shot now but you no realize seh you will never amoun to nuttin more
dan a two-bit paper pusher! Yes, me know yuh very well alright!!"
The Lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the
room and asked, "Miss Ivy, do you know the defense attorney?" She looked
over at the defense attorney and replied, "Of course, me know Mr. Bradley
since him was a likkle bwoy too. Him lazy, and good-fe-nothing, him boasy,
and him always a gwaan like him white. Him caan build nuh normal
relationship with any woman 'cause him a Battyman unda covah. Fe him law
practice a di worse eena Jamaica .. Him chat nuff, him a ole teef, him
dutty and nasty. A three different woman an four man me hear seh him a
grind undah covah, an one a di woman dem a you missis (points at a
juror
memeber)!! Yes sah, me know him well." The defense attorney almost died of
embarrassment.
The judge ordered both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very
quiet voice, said, "If either of you blood clath lawyer ask her if she
knows me, a gwine lock up oonu ****ing bombo clath eena jail fe contempt!."